Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by karma, Sep 17, 2009.

  1. karma

    karma Learning

    Hi Nice to meet you all. I've been lurking for weeks now reading and re-reading your posts.
    I am a divorced mom of 2 children my easy child is 8 and my difficult child is 6. For years i have been trying to figure out what was wrong. My family kept telling me it was normal. ALL little boys try to smother cats. all little boys get up at 4 am to steal food and put steak knives in a microwave, ALL little boys are violent and the problem was me. I need to teach him empathy, i need to beat him with a belt I need to ignore him more ect. he has been in counseling for almost 4 years now. my family raised me so i know they are umm shall we say odd? when my mom told me not to take him to the dr i speed dialed said dr.
    My difficult child was born with sagital synostosis and was operated on last year. i had originally hoped that would "cure" the behavior issues. it did not.
    I found a wonderful family dr that actually took an hour and a half and listened to me and the issues we were having. he diagnosed difficult child as ADHD and ODD. he started us on daytranna patches.
    at this time things are fairly calm for life with a difficult child but i wanted to introduce my family and thank all of you. you have no idea (well you might) how comforting it was to read posts from people who have been there and understand.
  2. lmf64

    lmf64 New Member

    Yes, I remember well the feeling of belonging. I remember doing a search for ODD and this board was near the top of the list that came up. I remember reading and reading for days, before I felt comfortable enough to post. I remember thinking that there was no way my son had ODD. I knew there was more to it. This is the place I come to when I need true support and advice. I have sent many parents towards the site when they are searching for answers. I don't post often about my difficult child. He is really pretty stable right now (knock on wood).
  3. Mandy

    Mandy Parent In Training

    Welcome to the boards! This is a great place to get support, understanding, and GOOD information:D

    I have been through so much with my son in the last 5 yrs but slowly I am seeing hope emerge!

    Also look into dietary changes because I truly believe these are helping my difficult child!! There is a great book I got from my local library called "The Autism and ADHD Diet by Barrie Silberberg". We started this diet last week and I swear I already see positive changes.

    At this point I will try anything:D
  4. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Welcome! Sorry if responses here are a bit slow. There is a lot more action on the general and watercooler forums. Many of us have difficult children who are much older, but we still remember what you are going through.

    I will tell you now that most kids, boys and girls, do not hurt animals, steal food at 4 am, put knives in the nuker (I assume to see the sparks? or was he trying to start a fire? that will be important info to have).

    I strongly recommend you get a FULL evaluation by a neuropsychologist (psychologist with special training in how the brain impacts behavior) AND also by a psychiatrist, an occupational therapist and a developmental pediatrician. With the problems your son is showing, the sooner you have him evaluated and can start on a road to helping him, the sooner things can get better.

    You will hear ADHD and ODD. in my opinion (I am NOT a doctor, just a mom) you are dealing iwth a LOT more than that. ODD really means "I know he has the behaviors but I have no clue how to help." It describes what is going on and gives absolutely NO, ZIP, ZILCH,ZERO help or guidance. So it is pretty useless unless you like writing extra letters.

    The pediatrician may or may not want to refer you to all those people. Be firm. If possible call your insurance co and get a list of providers so you can give some examples of names for the doctor to pick from. Make sure the psychiatrist is child and adolescent certified. The school will have and Occupational Therapist (OT). The assessment the school Occupational Therapist (OT) will do only covers how his academics are altered by Occupational Therapist (OT) problems. You want to have him evaluated privately for sensory integration disorder. It is very very important to do this. This is one of the few problems that actually has treatment that is proven to change how the brain handles sensory input with a treatment that includes no medicines. Sensory integration disorder means that the brain is not processing the input from the senses in the expected ways. "The Out Of Sync Child" is a great book about this.

    The other experts will check for forms of autism, other developmental disorders, learning disabilities, etc... It sounds scary. It is kinda scary to go through. But if you don't do this now it is only going to get worse. Imagine him as a teen if he gets no help. How scary will that be? (I used that argument to get my husband on board when our son was showing problems.)

    Right away you should get The Explosive Child and What Your Explosive Child Is Trying To Tell You. They are excellent books and they introduce a different kind of parenting. It can seem that these new ways are giving in to the child. The methods seem rather counterintuitive. But they work on difficult children more than any other parenting methods.

    Make safety a primary concern. If he is hurting the pets, or the pets are afraid of him then the pets should go to new homes. It is not fair to make the pet live in fear.

    This is a lot of info, so I will stop here. I am so glad you found us. This is a wonderful, warm, welcoming place. There is a lot of knowledge, vastly more wisdom, and even more support! If you don't get answers here, pop over to general and post there.

    Also, because we have so many members, we can get all the info on your family, the problems, etc... confused. If you go to User CP at the top of the page you can make a signature, like the one at the bottom of my post, that will help us keep things straight. Just no pictures of your family, last names, or other identifying personal info, please.
  5. nuone

    nuone New Member

    Hi Karma - Welcome - I too have not been with the forum for that long, and took some time to post as well, but have found GREAT support and advice from people that really have been through the scenarios and fully understand. It is a great place to come to. Sure you will find much to assist you too.:thumbsup:
  6. karma

    karma Learning

    thank you for the warm welcome!
    Both kidlets have been in counseling for going on 4 years. they have had two different counselors, unfortunately we just got word we will be looking for #3.
    We homeschool so we won't be having help from that direction. exhusband is almost nonexistant in their lives. he lives about 45 minutes away and they see him about 1 day out of every 6 months. his big advice was to skip the medications and buy difficult child "monster" drinks for the caffine.
    I probably need to edit the siggy to add his dysfunction. Unfortunatly right now money is tight, we are getting ready to move and life is chaotic right now. hopefully soon i can have a neuropsychologist run a work up, but it will have to wait for a while.