My son is 9 and he has been diagnosed with ADHD with ODD traits. I've been struggling with him since he was 2 and he's just so awful. My marriage is on the rocks and my youngest son (3) is just tormented by him all the time. We can't go on holiday or even have days out. I wish I was dead sometimes. I dread him coming home from school and he just causes chaos in the house. He pits me against my husband and loves it when he causes a row. We have no childcare and we're just so isolated in our lives. His bio father lives at the other end of the country and sometimes I feel like just sending him there to live because I'm just so sick of the chaos and arguing. He doesn't commit any crimes or anything like that - I know I'm lucky because of this, but I just can't cope with the endless arguing. I feel like I live in a battle zone. When he goes away to his fathers I just sleep due to the exhaustion. I'm living on my nerves and my husband is irritable, angry and stressed. This child is going to kill us. I dunno what to do. I've read 123 Magic by Tom Phelan, but we're too tired to implement the strategies. Should we start over again?