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Newbie...frustrated, confused, and feel helpless
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<blockquote data-quote="kattriss" data-source="post: 645750" data-attributes="member: 18718"><p>Thank you MidwestMom for your candid response. I do see where you're coming from, and I agree that she should have the opportunity to talk to her therapist and psychiatrist without us knowing the details of what was said. The main thing I am concerned about is having the knowledge I need where it comes to her diagnosis and any medications that are prescribed. I also worry that, given her history, she will lie to doctors to get what she wants (or what she thinks she wants). She has done this many times with her therapist which made it difficult for her to get a proper diagnosis of her condition. When I relayed her bipolar diagnosis to her therapist, she admitted that she would never have come to that diagnosis because in session she became very skilled at hiding things and redirecting conversations. My difficult child in turn would tell me things that were supposedly suggested by her therapist that I later would find out were not true. This has lessened though now that she has decided she wants help. </p><p></p><p>Another concern I have is where it comes to obtaining an IEP for her. From what I've read, the process is very reliant on being able to prove that a child has a disability and if I'm not mistaken requires me to have at least basic knowledge of her diagnosis and treatment. Not having access to that information puts me (and her) at a disadvantage.</p><p></p><p>To be honest, I'd rather not know what she says during her sessions because I know it would probably bring me to tears (not sure I have many more left). I also know that she would continue to lie and redirect...as you said, she would be less likely to open up if she knew the therapists were relaying it back to us. What I would rather have is an opportunity to provide the psychiatrist a detailed account of the problems we've had throughout her life...fifteen minutes is definitely not an adequate amount of time to give him a detailed history, at least in my opinion. Her therapist and primary doctor are open to this. Her therapist appreciates my weekly updates where it comes to any problems, but I didn't get a sense that my input was welcome where it came to the psychiatrist. </p><p></p><p>As for the 29yo, we chose not to call the police mainly because threatening him with doing so (as well as contacting his family, band mates, and venues/churches where they play that are hang outs for minors) was enough for him to cease all contact with her and her friends. And of course, she lied about her age very convincingly. We also did not want her exposed to publicity as his stepfather is a council member in the city they live...her mental/emotional state was our primary concern, and honestly it was a very hard decision to make. </p><p></p><p>Again, thank you for your response. It's nice to hear all sides and know that I'm not alone in this. </p><p></p><p>~K</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="kattriss, post: 645750, member: 18718"] Thank you MidwestMom for your candid response. I do see where you're coming from, and I agree that she should have the opportunity to talk to her therapist and psychiatrist without us knowing the details of what was said. The main thing I am concerned about is having the knowledge I need where it comes to her diagnosis and any medications that are prescribed. I also worry that, given her history, she will lie to doctors to get what she wants (or what she thinks she wants). She has done this many times with her therapist which made it difficult for her to get a proper diagnosis of her condition. When I relayed her bipolar diagnosis to her therapist, she admitted that she would never have come to that diagnosis because in session she became very skilled at hiding things and redirecting conversations. My difficult child in turn would tell me things that were supposedly suggested by her therapist that I later would find out were not true. This has lessened though now that she has decided she wants help. Another concern I have is where it comes to obtaining an IEP for her. From what I've read, the process is very reliant on being able to prove that a child has a disability and if I'm not mistaken requires me to have at least basic knowledge of her diagnosis and treatment. Not having access to that information puts me (and her) at a disadvantage. To be honest, I'd rather not know what she says during her sessions because I know it would probably bring me to tears (not sure I have many more left). I also know that she would continue to lie and redirect...as you said, she would be less likely to open up if she knew the therapists were relaying it back to us. What I would rather have is an opportunity to provide the psychiatrist a detailed account of the problems we've had throughout her life...fifteen minutes is definitely not an adequate amount of time to give him a detailed history, at least in my opinion. Her therapist and primary doctor are open to this. Her therapist appreciates my weekly updates where it comes to any problems, but I didn't get a sense that my input was welcome where it came to the psychiatrist. As for the 29yo, we chose not to call the police mainly because threatening him with doing so (as well as contacting his family, band mates, and venues/churches where they play that are hang outs for minors) was enough for him to cease all contact with her and her friends. And of course, she lied about her age very convincingly. We also did not want her exposed to publicity as his stepfather is a council member in the city they live...her mental/emotional state was our primary concern, and honestly it was a very hard decision to make. Again, thank you for your response. It's nice to hear all sides and know that I'm not alone in this. ~K [/QUOTE]
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