Hi, I'm a newbie! Not sure where to start. difficult child is 9yo, ADHD / ODD diagnosis via psychiatrist ADHD 4yrs ago, ODD in Sept. 2010. After he wrote on my car "Die W*** Die" the morning I was going out of town for Labor Day, it was DEX's weekend. I didn't find it till Sunday. I was so upset that my child well say that he wanted me dead. The morning this happen, he was a total turd. Screaming, yelling, refusing to do anything so he was not late for the bus and I was not late for work. He is like ticking time bomb most days. If I take something away from him he hates me and wants to live with his Dad. I've told more thane once that I have sole legal & physical custody so therefore that was not ever happening. I've asked why he hates me and wants to go live over there, he states it's cause I won't let him do "fun" things....LOL The only "fun" things he can come up with is Boy Scouts, Football, Baseball, Basketball...etc. DEX promises the world to him, then never follows through, difficult child thinks I should to do it, if DEX doesn't. Of course working full time, taking care of him and trying to NOT lose my mind, I don't have the energy or funds to be able to do it. He thinks that DEX will not be as "mean" as I am. That he never gets in trouble over there. I have talked to DEX about this and states that is not true, but will not go into detail so I can see if he is doing the same things over there. DEX is against difficult child being on medications, and that it is all in my head. He will not accept that his son has issues. He other than normal boys stuff for 9yo. The SM does not help on this issue either. She rules the family and tells him what to do say and how to do! If I try to get help from him on things at school or try to explain to him what difficult child is diagnosis with, it always backfires. He will ask difficult child stuff then difficult child lies. He then turns it back on me, that it's my fault because he lives with me. That I need to learn to take care of it myself. (I know he a real peace of work!) This morning was the last straw! We was almost late for the bus, he just plain out refused to eat breakfast, get dressed, lunch and backpack ready. I can't get dressed cause he is causing throwing a tantrum in the kitchen (banging head on tile floor). I son's get breakfast anymore, if he sees I'm eating it goes in to a full blown meltdown. He knows I have to be at work by 7:30, the bus runs around 7:15, if he's last I have to take him to school then of course I'm late to work. (Boss can only accept difficult child missed the bus so many times, ya know?) I have tried everything I can think of to discipline him. Time-out (we all knows that one doesn't work, ever) Taking everything away, computer, WII, Play station, Bike, pool time etc for a certain amount of time. Then I tried the earning them back, instead of a certain amount of time. The awards charts. I can go on and on. Sorry this is so long..... I am partly venting and asking for advice! Help!!