(Don't know how it happened, but it sent the post before I was finished.. sorry it is so long). Anyway, brother has signed the TPR this last week and hopefully it got sent from TX where he is to NE in time for the permanency hearing on the 2nd of Feb. Mom had already done her TPR since she lived there already, back in October. We did have their older brother (15 yrs) but I took him to the older sister back on Oct 30th because of his threatening behavior. He turned our house upside down while he was here and things did a 180 when I took him to sister. She was a bit angry with us at first and her boyfriend had called me telling me that I should act like the parent and take his priveleges, etc. I had, and I had nothing left to take! They both slowly started seeing behaviors at their home with him over just a short 5 wk period and we had had him for 8 months here! They could not take anymore since sister is pregnant and she began having stomach pains over the stress he was causing. The state had stepped in when I took him over there and told sister to call them because my POA from Mom ran out in September and I had been after her for 3 months to get me a new one! Sister couldn't do anything either because she didn't have a POA either. So, essentially, according to the sister's GAL, he was on his own!!!! Now the Mom is there and he is with her again even though he told the SW that he did not want to live with his Mom because she drinks too much. They were going to send him to NE to Mom but her boyfriend said he didn't want her kid there, so he sent her on a bus to AZ. So, now she is staying with a brother who will eventually kick her out before she is ready to get out on her own because he did that with the sister knowing that she had nowhere to go when they made her leave! Not a good situation all around. We were ready to accept him back in the summer provided he could maintain a C average in school with his sister and do what he was told. Being with us would be the ideal situation for him because he needs stability with two "parents" that care for him and will make him do what is required of him. Now, we fear that he will be a drop out because he is 15 and in the 9th grade. A grade that he will now have to repeat I am sure. So, he will be in 9th grade next year at the age of 16 which I do believe automatically sets him up for being a drop out unless he truly wants to finish, which I don't believe he does. We constantly talked to him about his opportunities in life and where he can go with a lot of support from us behind him. However, he really messed up and he knew that after the 5 wks of being with his sister when he realized he had it so good here. He called us the day after Christmas apologizing all over the place and wanted to come back. My husband was the one that put his foot down and said No, not right now. Maintain that C average and do as your sister tells you to do and we will think about it. So, I still have the sisters and they are going nowhere. I have their older sister's support thankfully. She stays in touch with me all the time and I think I probably come as close to being a mother to her as she ever got. She is the girls bio sister but not my blood relative but she has always considered me her "aunt" and I am happy about that. The kids family (Mom's side) do not have anything to do with the girls. The sister and brother see the Grandma, the uncle, and the great aunt that live there, but as far as the girls, they don't call, write, send cards, etc..... I have offered to take the girls to see Grandma and she is hateful, so we don't go see her. She cannot put her feelings for me aside even though I did nothing wrong, long enough to be able to see her grandgirls. I did take their brother from her house last February after hearing how she was treating them and due to the fact that she had him for 5 months and he was not in school, so I got a POA from Mom and he wanted to move in with me. I had him in school within 3 days, all shots required (he actually had to have ALL of them all over again because of no records.. Mom's fault, again!), and had his birth certificate within 30 days. The very same one that the Grandma was making an excuse as to why she couldn't get it! I am not his blood relative and all I had to do was have his sister (18) sign for it with a copy of hers showing that they have the same mother. Simple! But Grandma, who IS blood couldn't even accomplish it for 5 months? Sad! When the SW had originally called me to find placement for the girls, I almost cried to hear that I was pretty much their last hope. They had already contacted all of Mom's family and they either hung up on the SW, or they said they wanted nothing to do with the kids or the situation! Of course, all of this was due to Mom and her drinking and drugging issues. They don't even know these beautiful girls! I told the SW after 5 minutes of talking to her that I wanted them! I was just so happy to get the call anyway because Mom took them off 7 yrs ago promising me that she would stay in touch so that I could at least send cards and letters. That lasted one month! Then I never saw or heard from them again for the last 7 yrs. My brother is in no position to care for them. He lives with my Mom in her 2 bedroom trailer and has his own set of problems. Not to mention he knew he better not fight us on getting the girls because I had already told my Mom that I would see him in court due to the fact that he abandoned them 7 yrs ago and that was how Mom got them!
Anyway, I have bent everyone's ear enough for tonight. This story could be so much longer and I could just type and type all night long about this situation because it is a huge thorn in my side when it comes to these kids and their welfare and how they have lived since the day they were born. How selfish their parents are and how they care more about themselves and their lifestyle than they do about their children. I will have LOTS of time next week to just sit and type and type since I am having a hysterectomy on the 10th. I am happy about it because I have been wanting one for YEARS, but it has been hard trying to find a Dr who would do it! Now, I get it done!!! Should be a fairly easy procedure. Go in, have it done and home the next day. Just need to make sure that I rest up plenty after getting home.
So... that is part of my story. Thanks for bearing with me ladies. This place and everyone here seem so supportive of one another and understanding of what everyone is going through with their children. I really didn't realize that so many children have so many mental problems, and believe me.. I am not naive in any way, shape, or form.
I hope everyone has a great evening and can deal with their "problems" without tearing their hair out. May God, or that higher power, or whatever it is that you believe in give you the strength to go through your lives and deal with your issues day by day, and that you have peace with whatever decision you make. I know that I feel as though I was put in these kids lives for a reason, and I am thankful that I have a therapist who is so supportive. She has told me many times that if anyone could take these children in that I was probably the best choice due to the fact that I have gone through so much with my own daughter and can handle the unique problems these girls have.
Good night ladies! And again, thank you so much!
