Newbie of teenage son, age 17, with ODD

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by DArnone, Aug 29, 2011.

  1. DArnone

    DArnone New Member

    Hello all! I am a mother of a son who has been diagnosed with ODD. Last January my husband & I had to do an intervention and send my 17 yr old to "Second Nature" Utah, because he refused to stop smoking pot. The Wilderness program was helpful, he was there for 8 weeks, and was then diagnosed with anxiety, mild depression & ODD. It was recommended that he go to a therapeutic boarding school. We followed thru and he was there for three months. We felt sorry for him and he is back home. He is not smoking pot or doing drugs but is very moody & oppostional. I am in need of a support group for myself, my husband and my son. His birthday was 7/19 and he was hoping to get his Driver's License but we held off until this friday. Still unsure, because of his rudeness and disrespectfulness. It's sad. Yes-would it be helpful to us if he had it, sure! Anyway hear of support groups in Monmouth Cty, NJ - thanks! Dawn
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Hi, and welcome...

    Usually you'll get more questions than answers at first... as we get to know your situation, its easier to provide feedback.

    Who did the diagnoses? Any medications for anxiety/depression?
    Around here, ODD is usually taken as a place-holder diagnosis - yes, there are behavior problems. ODD diagnosis doesn't give any guidance on why, or how to fix. Its a flag that there are problems, and you need to get to the bottom of the rest of the issues.

    Any chance there's some ADHD in the background? Pot is one of the "self-medications" used by undiagnosed ADHD people...

    Depression alone would account for some of the behaviors you list. But there may be other things going on as well.

    Consider creating a signature (sig). It keeps in front of us the skeleton of your situation - helps when replying to threads later.

    Hang in there!
  3. MuM_of_OCD_kiddo

    MuM_of_OCD_kiddo New Member

    Hi Dawn,

    my son just turned 18 a few days after yours turned 17. He just started with the driving now - there is no way in that I would have considered to let him drive last year or god forbid - even the year before. I made it very clear to him that I would not turn over my [only decent] car to him as long as he goes through angry moodswings, has tempertantrums and is rude or hostile to me, or is destructive overall. I'm a single mom, selfemployed and the economy is hurting me as much as the next guy - a new/different car is simply not in my budget right now. I just could see the tickets piling up, the police calling me every other day, or my car impounded or worse - totalled because someone ticked him off on the road. He chewed on that one a good long while - and has come down a seriously long road in maturing and more importantly - making conscious changes for himself.

    I am extremely proud of him and am glad to say that it is safe to drive with him now, it would not have been last year. All he needs is more experience - I will not have to be sitting and chewing my fingernails everytime I let him take the car out. If he is not ready - make him wait. Just think of the potential injuries/casualties he may do to others if nothing else, if he can't control his temper while out on the road.
  4. compassion

    compassion Member

    My daughter turned 18 in April. I will not help her get a license until she has sobriety (she abuses both pot and alcohol) and stability (her irrability and impulsiveness make her unsafe). She has her permit and I do let her drive under my supervision. Compassion
  5. keista

    keista New Member

    Hello and welcome!

    I'm not a fan of the ODD diagnosis either. in my opinion the manifestation of depression and anxiety symptoms can easily explain the ODD behavior.

    Any medications? If not that might be the first thing you want to look into. If yes, they might need to be adjusted or changed. They are not "one size fits all" and can even make symptoms worse. I've come across many blogs on the internet of 20 somethings sharing their stories of being poorly medicated as teens DESPITE their own complaints that the medications were not working or making things worse, and they resorted to self medicating to alleviate symptoms. Usually these kids had inattentive parents that were too wrapped up in their own lives to take the time to listen to the very real cries for help.

    Welcome again. You've found a great place for support, guidance and insights.
  6. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    OR, they had inattentive psychiatrists that wouldn't listen to either the teen or the parents. We've had those!
  7. keista

    keista New Member

    Yes, Insane, that too. been there done that, and might be going there with the current psychiatrist too! However, on the blogs I was referring to, the 'kids' tended to blame the parents more than the psychiatrists.
  8. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    "the 'kids' tended to blame the parents more than the psychiatrists. "Of course. They are TAUGHT to do that by the schools. You cannot blame any "professional" for anything... so you can't blame the teacher, the counsellor, the therapist, the psychiatrist, etc. The only people you can blame are your parents - because everyone else does.