What kind of professional did the testing? We went to a highly recommended clinic that consisted of psychologists, professional counselors, and psychiatric health providers. He was evaluated by a licensed psychologist and consulted with a pediatric psychologist during the entire process.
Can you share with us some of the behavioral issues you are facing? Sure! His behavior at school tends to be the more ADHD side of things (lack of focus, needing to move, slow processing, unorganized, distracted, etc.) At home, he tends toward the ODD. He will negotiate, everything. Tends to blatantly lie and will argue that he is telling the truth (even when we've witnessed the situation). When we are out-n-about as a family, thats when the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Anxiety kicks in. Always worried about where we're going, who's going to be there, how long we are staying, etc.
How was his early development, did he speak on time, early? He definitely had delayed speech. He didn't put words together to form sentences until he was about 2 maybe? Mostly grunted, pointed, or dragged me along to show me. I remember being concerned that he wasn't speaking and was almost going to have him tesed then it was like one day, "the light clicked on" and he's been talking non-stop. LOL
Is he into any special hobbies or interests? He LOVES basketball and just finished his first season on a league team. He tends to latch onto one thing and it beccomes his world. He isn't overly obsessed with things but, he will only talk about basketball, play basketball, learn the game, etc until he's had enough or something new comes along to take the interest. He's always been this way with toys as well.
How does he play with others??? (imaginative?, only video games? only chase kinds of games? etc....) How does he do when you go from one place to another or one activity to another? How does he transition in other words.... He is a very friendly, loveable kid. We have a lot of kids in our neighborhood and in our "friend circle" and he tends to get along with everyone. He makes friends with strangers when we are in public (this was scary when he was little!!!) At school, he has no friends. (ugh, sad for a Mommy to say) We transferred him from a private Christian school his third grade year. He had been at the private school for 5 years and was liked by everyone. One of his problems at that school his teachers used to tell us that he was "too liked". When he went to public school we expected the first year to be rough, new environment, new style of learning, new friends but, he has struggled for the last 2.5 years. No friends. Interesting, huh? Electronics are a huge struggle in our home. He has been interested and playing the computer/video games since he was 3. When he was little, it was the flashing lights and electronic Elmo toys that he was always drawn too. When I am up for the battle of stating a "no electronic policy", after the inital meltdowns, arguements, and frsutrations, he will begin to use his imagination and play with his siblings.
How is his sleep? Not great. He has a hard time falling asleep and then staying asleep. He is always telling me that he woke up at midnight, 1am, 3 am, 5am. Melatonin helps get him to sleep but, doesn't always help him stay asleep.
Does he have any good friends? Like I mentioned before, yes. But I will mention, his closest friends are one year ahead because of the birthday cutoff for school. And, his two closest buddies have learning/behavior issues themselves.
Does he get invited to things like birthday parties etc. and when he does can he participate in games. Does he play team sports? Yes, yes, and yes.
Does he understand humor? Yes. Absolutely. In fact, he's the one usually dishing it out. It isn't always appropriate timing and it is difficult to get him to understand when enough is enough. This is actually one of our biggest parenting struggles. How do we balance "there is a time to be funny/goofy and there is time not to" without squashing his fun-loving, silly, humorous character????
Does he do ok with teasing? No. Hates this. He is incredibly sensitive and will respond with anger and/or crying. Then on the flipside, will tease his siblings until they cry...lack of ability to know when to stop.
Does he understand tone of voice, facial expression etc.??? Tone of voice...I'm thinking no. When we raise our voices to get his attention he continues the behavior we are wanting him to stop. We usually have to physically turn him toward us or stand in front of him.
If your insurance wont cover the evaluations (even speech and Occupational Therapist (OT)???) you might try county social services, ask for the division that does case management for kids with special needs. Sometimes there are mental health funds and since behavior is part of it you can do it thru them but when you go that route (psychologist, behavioral analysist, counselors, etc....) they may focus more on emotional and behavioral diagnosis rather than neurological/developmental diagnosis. YeS it is expensive, many larger centers will do sliding scales (you may have to wait but worth it) and then payment plans....I DO understand how stressful it is to be struggling that way.
This has been back and forth for us. We are in a crazy cycle of things are falling apart and we begin the process of finding a therapist/counselor and then things calm and we have a compassionate, helpful, loving boy back. The good is really good and we see the hope of him coming through all of this. And then there is the bad when I can't believe he is the same child.
The other clue you gave is that you are now in 5th grade... this is the time that most of these kids (third thru 5th) who are pretty high functioning start to crack... just have a much harder time coping with the increased social demands and also the demands for more self organization and general independence.
Oh my. I am so aware of this and I'm nervous about next year for him. I am worried about how he will handle all of the new pressures of school and academics. At the private school he was an outstanding student, we were worried he was not being challenged enough. Public school has been the complete opposite experience for him. Going into Jr. High + hormones...the prayers have already begun!
To make a looong story short, we got him set-up with a 504 at school and read up a bunch. Unfortunately, our insurance does not cover therapy and we are not in a financial place to pay out of pocket. We are believers and are confident that our Lord has a plan for our son (and us) through all of this. We are taking each day at a time and doing our best.
