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Substance Abuse
Newbie...Son in jail again...not speaking to me
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<blockquote data-quote="Willowbe" data-source="post: 697364" data-attributes="member: 20654"><p>Thank you Troli, Kathy18 and Sister's Keeper. I totally agree with all your feedback. I feel the attorney was trying to get him bonded out and he has to wear a monitoring bracelet and be in the household of a responsible person. It was my son who suggested my home....I think I knocked the wind out of him when I replied for a very short period of time until he could find some where else to stay. Yes, his bond is high because of his charges, F1 and F3 and several misdemeanors. When he was arrested I called everyone I knew and ask that they not bail him. I feel he needs to be held accountable and if he had been bonded out he would have headed straight back to drinking. From what I can tell he has been drinking quite heavily for a couple of months. He has lost so much. He has a wife and 18 month old son and also had custody of his two daughters, 6 and 10. The girls are now in LV, NV with their alcoholic/drug addict mother and she is filing for custody. We went through this about 71/2 years ago and it literally took over my life. In Al-Anon we have learned that an alcoholic doesn't drink because of you or I, they drink because they are an alcoholic and that makes sense. I have started reading the big AA book and have gone to an AA meeting in order to try to make sense of his behavior. He had the world by the tail and threw it all away. He has been to rehab, so he does have a 12 step program to fall back on. I am not sure if he has ever been in recovery except when the judge made rehab a part of his sentence.And of course that was involuntary. He did attend NA for about three months but no recovery recently. I think as a mom it is so hard to separate out the feelings of guilt, shame and remorse for what your child has done. This is why I will always work my program,, because without it....I would once again be trying to control and figure out how to make it all work so he didn't suffer. Perhaps by me saying no to his staying at my home, this might provide more of a rock bottom for him.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Willowbe, post: 697364, member: 20654"] Thank you Troli, Kathy18 and Sister's Keeper. I totally agree with all your feedback. I feel the attorney was trying to get him bonded out and he has to wear a monitoring bracelet and be in the household of a responsible person. It was my son who suggested my home....I think I knocked the wind out of him when I replied for a very short period of time until he could find some where else to stay. Yes, his bond is high because of his charges, F1 and F3 and several misdemeanors. When he was arrested I called everyone I knew and ask that they not bail him. I feel he needs to be held accountable and if he had been bonded out he would have headed straight back to drinking. From what I can tell he has been drinking quite heavily for a couple of months. He has lost so much. He has a wife and 18 month old son and also had custody of his two daughters, 6 and 10. The girls are now in LV, NV with their alcoholic/drug addict mother and she is filing for custody. We went through this about 71/2 years ago and it literally took over my life. In Al-Anon we have learned that an alcoholic doesn't drink because of you or I, they drink because they are an alcoholic and that makes sense. I have started reading the big AA book and have gone to an AA meeting in order to try to make sense of his behavior. He had the world by the tail and threw it all away. He has been to rehab, so he does have a 12 step program to fall back on. I am not sure if he has ever been in recovery except when the judge made rehab a part of his sentence.And of course that was involuntary. He did attend NA for about three months but no recovery recently. I think as a mom it is so hard to separate out the feelings of guilt, shame and remorse for what your child has done. This is why I will always work my program,, because without it....I would once again be trying to control and figure out how to make it all work so he didn't suffer. Perhaps by me saying no to his staying at my home, this might provide more of a rock bottom for him. [/QUOTE]
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Newbie...Son in jail again...not speaking to me
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