Hi! New here and in desperate need of help. My 9yr old has ADHD and possible Oppositional Defiance Disorder. His behavior is getting out of control and my boyfriend and I have tried everything under the sun to help him understand what behavior is acceptable and what isn't. He is a sweet kid but when he wants something and doesn't get it or things don't go his way, watch out, he either screams, throws things, hits, breaks things or does all of the above. You tell him to be quiet or use his indoor voice, he continues in the level he was before, you tell him to clean up his mess, he tells you that he didn't make it and refuses to do it, you tell him Stop or No and he acts like he doesn't understand what those words mean. We have tried stickers chart, earning time on the X-Box (he has completely lost that privilege), reward box full of little toys and things he wants, and I have a little plastic trash can that I picked up at the dollar tree, filled it with candy and put a sign on it that says "The can of Good Behavior ~Don't give me ****, I don't want it. **** belongs in the trash so please throw yours away!" Nothing works. Then there is the issue of his personal hygiene. I have just now gotten to where I can get him in the tub without screaming or a fight and if I don't drag him in there, he won't take a bath or change clothes for however long we let him go. Won't brush his teeth, will not pee in the toilet, he'll stand in front of it but will pee on the floor, the wall or the cabinet, so I make him sit down to pee (which seems to be the only success that I have had). When we discuss this with his doctors, we get nowhere. Getting him on the right dose of ADHD medications is a battle within itself. When I first got into the relationship, he was on such a high dose that he looked like a zombie all the time and absolutely miserable, we've gotten the dose lowered, some days he still looks like a zombie and other days it's like the medicine didn't work at all. He has no friends at home or school because of the way he acts, he snarls or growls at people, yells or screams if they do something he don't like or that annoys him and does the same thing if they don't do what he wants. The kids at school shy away from him and the kids in the neighborhood say they are scared of him or that he freaks them out so the only friend he has is my 11yr old and that started out rocky (he had to go pee so he peed on my son at my parents house). "Dill" loves "Creature" like a real brother and even though "Creature" won't admit it, he loves him too. He is always telling me "Mom, I'm trying to teach that boy but he just won't listen, I don't know what to do." "Gentle Giant", "Dill's" dad doesn't know what to do anymore because nothing works. I am the only person that "Gentle Giant" has had a relationship with that "Dill" has had a connection to, responded to, interacts with, and has shown any type of emotion with. "Dill" told me that he knew I was going to be his mother the minute he met me and I have told him that I have felt like and have loved him like he was my own child from the beginning. He knows that I love him no matter what and that I accept him for who he is, and that nothing he can do or say will scare me or make me leave. I want the best for him and to be able to be on his own without any assistance. I want him to have friends and sleep overs, I want him to be happy, accept himself for who he is, that he is perfect no matter what. We just don't know what to do to help him or where to go to get the help he needs or at least get someone to listen to us. Thank You for letting me vent or talk about this. Most of the time we feel like we are all alone in this. "J" "J" crazy mom of 2, adopted mom of 1. ~Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Bi-polar Disorder, PTSD~ (Zoloft) "Gentle Giant" Supportive & Loving Boyfriend (Fiancee) ~ADHD, PTSD, Migraine Suffer~ (Zoloft, Vyvance, Seroquel) easy child "TAG" 19yrs old, my mini me. ~Learning Disability (LD)~ easy child "Creature" 11yrs old almost 12, my lil story teller. ~Epilepsy, 10yr Brain Tumor Survivor, Learning Disability (LD)~ (Carbatrol) difficult child "Dill" 9yrs old, "Gentle Giant's" son and my son in every way except I didn't give birth to him. My lil Hugger. ~ADHD, possible Oppositional Defiant Disorder, possible Autism/Aspergers, bio-mom avid meth user entire pregnancy, abuse and severe neglect after birth.