I have a very strong-willed 8 year old adopted daughter. We've had her since she was 2 days old. She is generally a really good kid, very well behaved at school and elsewhere. However, at home, she can be extremely defiant. I first noticed at age 3, when we began using timeouts for discipline. She HATES time outs. When she was small and refused to go in a timeout, we could just pick her up and just put her in the time out spot. However, as she beacame older and stronger, this became problematic as one or both of us would get hurt. She used to bite, now she slaps, punches and kicks. Her 3-4-5-6-7 minute time outs turn into 45-120 minute battles. We take away privileges like tv, playdates, etc but eventually we are back in the fray. I tried to get help from her pediatrician several months ago when her fits gained in frequency from once every 4-6 weeks to once or twice a week (more, recently), but he was really no help whatsoever. We are looking for a new pediatrician. I got her into counseling, and things improved a great deal before her first appointment (before she even knew this was coming). She seems to like the counselor, they've only met 3 times so far and will meet again tomorrow. I did some research and found info on ODD. It's her, dead-on. I showed her counselor what I found. She seems a bit reticent to admit this may be my difficult child's problem but I am proceeding with this self-diagnosis for now. Had a horrible day yesterday. She fought for an hour in the morning when I asked her to get ready for her swim lesson because I would not go upstairs with her. She finally calmed down and did as she was told, I cut her fun day at the beach short as discipline. Later, after we got home, she went off again, this time because she did not want to do the math work she had been promising me she would do all week. She needs a little extra help with math as well as reading comprehension over the summer to start her school year on good footing, as reccomended by her teacher. She is extremely bright and intuitive but does not apply herself. I try to get the schoolwork in maybe 3 or 4 days a week . 4 weeks ago, I gave her the option to choose when to do her summer reading and math during the day, but if she did not finish it in good humor by dinnertime it was understood that we would go back to her having to do it every morning, about 30 minutes of work each day, before any fun could happen. Well, she has not been completely finishing her work on the days I give it to her, and last night she gave it zero effort before she completely went off the deep end. Wound up having 2 hours of hystrionics, which included her slapping me repeatedly(pretty much continuously for the 2 hours), mouthing off, calling me stupid, cornering me, locking me out on the screened porch when I tried to go out to stay calm, etc etc. I managed to remain calm, did not yell, tried to ignore her and not engage, did not spank or hit back. It was a doozy, though. She even went after my husband, who, after witnessing this first hand instead of hiding like usual, finally read the info I had given him two weeks ago. I am completely frazzled and worried sick about her mental state. Everyone who knows her would never in a million years guess what this sweet, empathetic, quiet spoken child is like at home. A long post, but any input is welcome and appreciated!