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Newbie - Wondering if it is too late to help my son
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<blockquote data-quote="AHHUM" data-source="post: 405090" data-attributes="member: 11090"><p>Thank you ladies for the quick responses.</p><p> </p><p>I was not always this angry person. I tried working with the people, quietly & respectfully, the first 2 years, when it was just about the school work. After 2 years of no help & out right untruths and the escalation of his behavior to criminal, I have become desparate to help him & no one will listen or help. Unfortunately, in UT, women are not listened to & step fathers have no standing. I had to sign a waiver in order for husband to be able to access info from the school.</p><p> </p><p>Yes, it is a crime in UT to smoke cigarettes, until age 19. But it is not a judicial crime, meaning fines only. Yes it is a crime to be truant, also not judicial & only if the school reports it, which they will not because it is a loss of money (I believe this to be the reason they will not retain him also)</p><p> </p><p>No, at this point it is no longer just pot. He has started a new thing, at least to us, called robo-tripping, where he consumes a huge amount of cough medicine. husband went to all the local pharmacies & explained this to the store managers. Mucinex DM (green box) is now behind all the counters & you have to ask the pharmacist for it.</p><p> </p><p>I have read in the forums here about Advocates for the child. How do I find one? I have lost my job due to this situation, so no insurance. husband is retired on a pension & works part time, so income is to high to qualify for state assistance. We do not have enough income to afford an Residential Treatment Center (RTC), believe me I have researched that. The only one I have found, Cal Farley's in NV, that is free, won't take him because of his extensive run-aways.</p><p> </p><p>We have been to counselors. The one we were working with that was actually having an effect, the PO would not allow us to continue with because he did not have a high enough degree. The next one was a quack, gave us a homework assignment to watch a movie, The Princess Bride. To this day I do not know what we were supposed to get out of this. The so-called family counseling just ended, this involved equine therapy, which seemed to be having a positive effect, but the courts have decided to go another direction & that program ended around Christmas, Son has coined out (graduated), with the recommendation that further family counseling was unnecessary. </p><p> </p><p>We have been on a waiting list for the Families First program, which has a scholarship program through the courts, since July. This is an intensive in home program and by what I read on their web-site, promises to be very helpful. Unfortunately, the Lying Sack of Sh**, pardon me, I mean PO, has bumped my son down the list twice. As of last week he is 3rd on the list and I am waiting for the L S of S's supervisor to get back to me on the status of that. I will have to call her tomorrow & remind her we are still here, but of course, all government offices are closed on Friday, so will not hear back until next week.</p><p> </p><p>I would love to get him in to someone who can objectively (not on the courts or schools behalf) assess him. I have come, recently, to accept there is probably an underlying problem. I have no idea what kind of doctor to take him to.</p><p> </p><p>So at this point my main questions are:</p><p> </p><p>1. How to get him an advocate</p><p>2. What kind of doctor </p><p> </p><p>Thanks again,</p><p> </p><p>AHHUM, aka B*tch Mom</p><p> </p><p>Yes, remarkably, I have somehow managed to keep a sense of humor, but it is getting darker by the day.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AHHUM, post: 405090, member: 11090"] Thank you ladies for the quick responses. I was not always this angry person. I tried working with the people, quietly & respectfully, the first 2 years, when it was just about the school work. After 2 years of no help & out right untruths and the escalation of his behavior to criminal, I have become desparate to help him & no one will listen or help. Unfortunately, in UT, women are not listened to & step fathers have no standing. I had to sign a waiver in order for husband to be able to access info from the school. Yes, it is a crime in UT to smoke cigarettes, until age 19. But it is not a judicial crime, meaning fines only. Yes it is a crime to be truant, also not judicial & only if the school reports it, which they will not because it is a loss of money (I believe this to be the reason they will not retain him also) No, at this point it is no longer just pot. He has started a new thing, at least to us, called robo-tripping, where he consumes a huge amount of cough medicine. husband went to all the local pharmacies & explained this to the store managers. Mucinex DM (green box) is now behind all the counters & you have to ask the pharmacist for it. I have read in the forums here about Advocates for the child. How do I find one? I have lost my job due to this situation, so no insurance. husband is retired on a pension & works part time, so income is to high to qualify for state assistance. We do not have enough income to afford an Residential Treatment Center (RTC), believe me I have researched that. The only one I have found, Cal Farley's in NV, that is free, won't take him because of his extensive run-aways. We have been to counselors. The one we were working with that was actually having an effect, the PO would not allow us to continue with because he did not have a high enough degree. The next one was a quack, gave us a homework assignment to watch a movie, The Princess Bride. To this day I do not know what we were supposed to get out of this. The so-called family counseling just ended, this involved equine therapy, which seemed to be having a positive effect, but the courts have decided to go another direction & that program ended around Christmas, Son has coined out (graduated), with the recommendation that further family counseling was unnecessary. We have been on a waiting list for the Families First program, which has a scholarship program through the courts, since July. This is an intensive in home program and by what I read on their web-site, promises to be very helpful. Unfortunately, the Lying Sack of Sh**, pardon me, I mean PO, has bumped my son down the list twice. As of last week he is 3rd on the list and I am waiting for the L S of S's supervisor to get back to me on the status of that. I will have to call her tomorrow & remind her we are still here, but of course, all government offices are closed on Friday, so will not hear back until next week. I would love to get him in to someone who can objectively (not on the courts or schools behalf) assess him. I have come, recently, to accept there is probably an underlying problem. I have no idea what kind of doctor to take him to. So at this point my main questions are: 1. How to get him an advocate 2. What kind of doctor Thanks again, AHHUM, aka B*tch Mom Yes, remarkably, I have somehow managed to keep a sense of humor, but it is getting darker by the day. [/QUOTE]
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