newbie

[Pumbaspeach]

Where to start. I am Shelly 37 married to Marc 37. Mom to Tharyn 11 (ADHD & ODD & Poss Bi-Polar) Duncan 9. Problems started with Tharyn when he was 5. That's when they diagnosis'd him as ADHD. 2yrs later we got the ODD news. He is on Concerta and has tried other medications too. He is so out of control. He has won!!! Everyone in this house is fighting because of him and he just sits back and watches. Sure it starts with him gettting into trouble but he is goo...he turns it right around on us all. His brother sits in his room and cries all the time because of the yelling and his outbursts. I am almost out of tears. It is 6:30 am here and I am ready for a glass of wine. Been a long day already. He is in his room trying to calm down after being busted breaking a rule in the house. But THAT is MY fault now...just ask him... He goes to counceling, and is going to start with a specialist Pshychiatrist next week. I am lost and do not know what to do...BOOTCAMP?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Help with any advice from anyone who has seen better days please!!!!!!!!

 

[BusynMember]

Hi. Sorry you have to be here, but welcome.

Can you tell us a little more about him? How was his early development in speech, motor skills, etc. Any quirky behaviors? Do you have any psychiatric problems on either side of his genetic family tree?

 

[LittleDudesMom]

Hi Shelly and welcome to the site. We totally understand!

Obviously talk therapy is not helping but gong to see the psychiatrist (psychiatrist) is a good start. I would recommend that your son see a pediatric neuropsychiatrist for a full evaluation. You mention possible BiPolar (BP) - has then been something a doctor has mentioned in the past, through your own research, or through family history? I agree that there is definitely more than ADHD going on if he is holding your family hostage. A proper diagnosis by a qualified doctor can begin the path of treating and healing.

Shelly, you have a great place for information and support. We are happy to have you here.

Sharon

 

[TerryJ2]

Hi Shelly,
welcome.
Tharyn has more going on than ADHD, which you have figured out by now.
Pick up a copy of The Manipulative Child http://www.amazon.com/Manipulative-Child-Resilient-Resourceful-Independent/dp/0553379496.
The part about holding you hostage strikes a cord with-me. I learned long ago that my kid is going to scream and hate me no matter what I do, and so I do what *I* want to do, no matter what. Eventually, he learned, and we are still learning. We are Warrior Moms! Our therapist calls it being a Happy Warrior. (Not so sure about the happy part.)
Yes, everything is our fault. Typical for these kids. The more you learn what is typical, the less you will take it personally. Learn to say,
No, and mean it.
Learn to find something good about him too. That is the hard part! But if he walks through a room and throws something in the trash, praise him. Don't make a big deal out of it ... just act normal. The little things add up.
Best of luck! Stay with-us.

 

[shellyd67]

Hi Shelly and welcome ! I came to this board a few years ago feeling much like you do now. I have had so much support, advice and encouragement from this board. It is my lifeline. We all understand and will help you as much as we can. Hoping once you have a evaluation done by a neuropysch, you can begin a course of action for your son and for the rest of your family. Keep us posted and again welcome.

Shelly