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<blockquote data-quote="RN0441" data-source="post: 704608" data-attributes="member: 15032"><p>I see a lot of our story in your story as well.</p><p></p><p>First of all I give you a lot of credit. Being a stepdad you are really committed and trying to find answers for your family. I don't think my husband could have handled this if it was not his own flesh and blood.</p><p></p><p>You can see by my signature we have been through a lot. It is so hard for a mother to kick out their child. They feel like they have given up. I'm sure she loves you as her husband also and it is a hard spot to be in the middle. Mothers try to fix everything. No one asks for this. This is not normal parenting. It is a vortex of despair.</p><p></p><p>It went on in our home for five years. The odd thing was that our son was SOBER most of the time but even then was not growing as a person at all. Didn't want to work - said he did but anxiety etc. etc. He then would go on drug binges and raise holy hell in the house. We felt so trapped. It drug (no pun intended) out for so long because it seemed like he was doing better in between binges - until he wasn't. And he was very young.....</p><p></p><p>Through the help of this forum - it was a Godsend for me - I gained strength and we finally gave him an ultimatum after his last binge. Go to rehab or get out. I was so afraid to even give him that option because he was so against rehab and he had been several times before. He did choose rehab only because he had nowhere to go and got through it and then we sent him to Florida to continue his treatment. He has struggled since he has been there (March of this year) BUT he is doing better. I don't know what he does day to day nor I care. I don't want to know. He is working. If he does drugs I know he will lose his job (he is an all or nothing type) and then he knows our help will stop. He is growing and being more responsible. Not as quickly as we'd like but most importantly our home is again peaceful. We are able to enjoy each other again. I look forward to going home each night. I wish we had done this years ago.</p><p></p><p>We have suffered so much. I hope that you are able to find the answers you need. It sounds like your wife is not there yet.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="RN0441, post: 704608, member: 15032"] I see a lot of our story in your story as well. First of all I give you a lot of credit. Being a stepdad you are really committed and trying to find answers for your family. I don't think my husband could have handled this if it was not his own flesh and blood. You can see by my signature we have been through a lot. It is so hard for a mother to kick out their child. They feel like they have given up. I'm sure she loves you as her husband also and it is a hard spot to be in the middle. Mothers try to fix everything. No one asks for this. This is not normal parenting. It is a vortex of despair. It went on in our home for five years. The odd thing was that our son was SOBER most of the time but even then was not growing as a person at all. Didn't want to work - said he did but anxiety etc. etc. He then would go on drug binges and raise holy hell in the house. We felt so trapped. It drug (no pun intended) out for so long because it seemed like he was doing better in between binges - until he wasn't. And he was very young..... Through the help of this forum - it was a Godsend for me - I gained strength and we finally gave him an ultimatum after his last binge. Go to rehab or get out. I was so afraid to even give him that option because he was so against rehab and he had been several times before. He did choose rehab only because he had nowhere to go and got through it and then we sent him to Florida to continue his treatment. He has struggled since he has been there (March of this year) BUT he is doing better. I don't know what he does day to day nor I care. I don't want to know. He is working. If he does drugs I know he will lose his job (he is an all or nothing type) and then he knows our help will stop. He is growing and being more responsible. Not as quickly as we'd like but most importantly our home is again peaceful. We are able to enjoy each other again. I look forward to going home each night. I wish we had done this years ago. We have suffered so much. I hope that you are able to find the answers you need. It sounds like your wife is not there yet. [/QUOTE]
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