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<blockquote data-quote="JaneBetty" data-source="post: 704633" data-attributes="member: 20814"><p>Yangstein, your stepson has been bailed out many times by you and your well meaning wife, and he has learned that someone will step in and fix whatever he breaks, be it cars, or even toilet flush handles! </p><p></p><p>You are in an unenviable position: you love your wife, who is the mother of an only child. It sounds as though you have financial resources to keep solving his problems, and even though it is the easiest way to deal with him, in the long run, he is not taking charge of his life. </p><p></p><p>Somehow, your wife needs to be convinced that the kind of help he is getting is actually causing your step son damage.</p><p></p><p>We threw lots of money towards helping our daughter until she was nearly 27 years old. Sadly, she didn't really start confronting her problems until she was forced out of our house.</p><p></p><p>For the longest time, I simply could not imagine her making it on her own, fearing that she would be taken advantage of, or that she would end up homeless. </p><p></p><p>I was also hyper aware of how our situation appeared to our friends and neighbors, and tried to hide how disfunctional things had become.</p><p></p><p>She is out on her own now, and she has just lost another job, but she simply must figure out how to survive, and in an odd way, I am proud of her for trying to figure out how to get by. It isn't easy to be aware of her struggles, but things couldn't go on the way they had while she was under our roof.</p><p></p><p>Your living situation sounds frustrating, and I hope your wife comes to the same conclusion you seem to have come to, that your step son isn't thriving, isn't growing into a man.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JaneBetty, post: 704633, member: 20814"] Yangstein, your stepson has been bailed out many times by you and your well meaning wife, and he has learned that someone will step in and fix whatever he breaks, be it cars, or even toilet flush handles! You are in an unenviable position: you love your wife, who is the mother of an only child. It sounds as though you have financial resources to keep solving his problems, and even though it is the easiest way to deal with him, in the long run, he is not taking charge of his life. Somehow, your wife needs to be convinced that the kind of help he is getting is actually causing your step son damage. We threw lots of money towards helping our daughter until she was nearly 27 years old. Sadly, she didn't really start confronting her problems until she was forced out of our house. For the longest time, I simply could not imagine her making it on her own, fearing that she would be taken advantage of, or that she would end up homeless. I was also hyper aware of how our situation appeared to our friends and neighbors, and tried to hide how disfunctional things had become. She is out on her own now, and she has just lost another job, but she simply must figure out how to survive, and in an odd way, I am proud of her for trying to figure out how to get by. It isn't easy to be aware of her struggles, but things couldn't go on the way they had while she was under our roof. Your living situation sounds frustrating, and I hope your wife comes to the same conclusion you seem to have come to, that your step son isn't thriving, isn't growing into a man. [/QUOTE]
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