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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 704815" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>You obviously care a lot about step son and mom and took much time thinking about it.</p><p> I admire your love and tenacity.</p><p></p><p>The thing is, while I agree that with his attitude, the family may be better if he left, I dont think that will wake him up, at least not for a long time. Many of us have done that and it rarely wakes them up. Instead they pout, say you're mean and learn to live homeless.</p><p>Many bounce home and out again as loving parents try them back then toss them out as they refuse to follow the conditions of living at home, such as working or sometimes just going to therapy or rehab</p><p> This is one time where logic isn't logical.</p><p></p><p>Mom is not helping but she is not the core problem. Step son is step son's problem</p><p> Mom is mom's problem.</p><p> We can't strongarm anyone to change so we can only change ourselves and our reactions to others. That's it. So your biggest problem is yourself to you and how you want to manage this mess. It's all you've got...it is all anybody has.</p><p></p><p>You are a good man</p><p>I wish you the best</p><p>Maybe private therapy can help you make decisions and cope.</p><p> Not involved third parties are more open to seeing how it really is than those enmeshed in the fray.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 704815, member: 1550"] You obviously care a lot about step son and mom and took much time thinking about it. I admire your love and tenacity. The thing is, while I agree that with his attitude, the family may be better if he left, I dont think that will wake him up, at least not for a long time. Many of us have done that and it rarely wakes them up. Instead they pout, say you're mean and learn to live homeless. Many bounce home and out again as loving parents try them back then toss them out as they refuse to follow the conditions of living at home, such as working or sometimes just going to therapy or rehab This is one time where logic isn't logical. Mom is not helping but she is not the core problem. Step son is step son's problem Mom is mom's problem. We can't strongarm anyone to change so we can only change ourselves and our reactions to others. That's it. So your biggest problem is yourself to you and how you want to manage this mess. It's all you've got...it is all anybody has. You are a good man I wish you the best Maybe private therapy can help you make decisions and cope. Not involved third parties are more open to seeing how it really is than those enmeshed in the fray. [/QUOTE]
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