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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 704906" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Is your youngest her son as well?</p><p></p><p>Your youngest deserves a peaceful, sane home, not just before he goes to college but when he comes home for the holidays. The step son is not the only consideration.</p><p></p><p>I feel badly that you have to sort of decide between enabling wife, her son, and the family you built. I would not want my own kids of any age to live with the step son and the enabling mom. But I know that you love her, you are not me, and for you this sounds hard</p><p></p><p>How do your kids feel about the situation? In the end it isn't up to them...it is up to you, of course. But grown kids can resent our choices and it can come between our own adult kids and us.</p><p></p><p>I do think therapy just for you is a good idea. If you had no kids, there would be more leeway for putting up with step son but you have two kids and they matter as much as stepson does. And your feelings are equal to your wife's in importance. Is she not concerned about what step son's behavior is doing to your two other children and you?</p><p></p><p>You have much to think about. Keep us posted. You don't want to feel like an outsider to these two in your own home. You have given in a lot. Wife has not. Can you afford to find a separate place for stepson to live? Would she do that? Many people here do.</p><p></p><p>I feel your heart is in the right place. I also feel you are the saner one here. There comes a final straw...good luck.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 704906, member: 1550"] Is your youngest her son as well? Your youngest deserves a peaceful, sane home, not just before he goes to college but when he comes home for the holidays. The step son is not the only consideration. I feel badly that you have to sort of decide between enabling wife, her son, and the family you built. I would not want my own kids of any age to live with the step son and the enabling mom. But I know that you love her, you are not me, and for you this sounds hard How do your kids feel about the situation? In the end it isn't up to them...it is up to you, of course. But grown kids can resent our choices and it can come between our own adult kids and us. I do think therapy just for you is a good idea. If you had no kids, there would be more leeway for putting up with step son but you have two kids and they matter as much as stepson does. And your feelings are equal to your wife's in importance. Is she not concerned about what step son's behavior is doing to your two other children and you? You have much to think about. Keep us posted. You don't want to feel like an outsider to these two in your own home. You have given in a lot. Wife has not. Can you afford to find a separate place for stepson to live? Would she do that? Many people here do. I feel your heart is in the right place. I also feel you are the saner one here. There comes a final straw...good luck. [/QUOTE]
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