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<blockquote data-quote="WannabeAgoodFather" data-source="post: 706279" data-attributes="member: 21165"><p>OK. It's been a while since I put an update what's going on in our house.</p><p>Stepson continues to do whatever he wants to do. Avoid any contacts with the family members but mother tries to communicate with him.</p><p>I overheard last week that mother wanted to see her son's finance details in his bank account. I am sure with his smoking habits and lavish purchases, he doesn't have any money saved. Mother doesn't talk about it as it would escalate to a "Debate" so she doesn't open it up with me.</p><p>In addition to that, I do not have to know the details as I know already. My stepson is extremely predictable and my guess will have 99% accuracy for sure. It was last Friday but I could sense that it did not go well. So next phase begins.</p><p></p><p>On Sunday night, I saw my wife trying to get into her son's room late at night. She told me she found him doing push ups at 2 in the morning and in the bathroom for a long period of time at 3AM. I did not say anything as it already left my mind. The more I get involved and try to offer solutions, it gets ugly. It always has been like that so I am out and happy. I do not like talking to a wall. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. I stopped being an enabler. Mother started the book but stopped at page 76 for a week. I do not think she will read the book and get herself to understand the situation. Her problem with drinking continues as well. We had a friend to join us on Friday night and literally had to carry her out of the bar. It happens about twice that she passes out. I have become an excellent on this over the years so when she tries to argue, which is the very first sign, I ignore and wait until she falls asleep. Nothing can stop her from drinking and she doesn't see it as a huge problem where she thinks it is under control, let it be. I will not make her drinking get me upset as it used to. I will have to take care of myself, too.</p><p></p><p>As expected, my stepson must have told his mother that he is seriously depressed. That is another card he loves to play as mother buys it 100%. He has used that depression card few times, went to see a psychiatrist, got prescription medication and marijuana license. It is another excuse to being in bed until 1 in the afternoon. I have been depressed and taking medication for a while. I do not have to sleep until 1 in the afternoon and blaming things on my depression. I would love to if I could do that and still keep the whole house running. I have other important obligations for the family and have no choice but to suck it up and face the reality.</p><p></p><p>I wake up in the morning, take the dogs out for a walk, feed them before heading to work. It is called priority in your life whether you suffer from depression or not. When my wife said to me his son is very depressed last night, I did not say anything but in my mind 'He's playing that card again and of course she is buying it again' It made me angry but did not say anything. My stepson is playing a pity card to stay as long as he can.... At the same time, my options are getting narrow as well. I have to prepare myself for the worst... I can do this...</p><p></p><p>All I want is that a young man could go out, design his life on his way and move on. I want him out of the house so that other people in the house can breathe. The house is full of toxic negative energy. I am glad I cancelled his medical insurance. Mother and son either don't know it yet or do not want to confront me. I have 200 answers why I cancelled it plus gave a notice before.</p><p></p><p>Life throws curve balls here and there. You have to learn how to hit curve balls.</p><p></p><p>Have a great day friends.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WannabeAgoodFather, post: 706279, member: 21165"] OK. It's been a while since I put an update what's going on in our house. Stepson continues to do whatever he wants to do. Avoid any contacts with the family members but mother tries to communicate with him. I overheard last week that mother wanted to see her son's finance details in his bank account. I am sure with his smoking habits and lavish purchases, he doesn't have any money saved. Mother doesn't talk about it as it would escalate to a "Debate" so she doesn't open it up with me. In addition to that, I do not have to know the details as I know already. My stepson is extremely predictable and my guess will have 99% accuracy for sure. It was last Friday but I could sense that it did not go well. So next phase begins. On Sunday night, I saw my wife trying to get into her son's room late at night. She told me she found him doing push ups at 2 in the morning and in the bathroom for a long period of time at 3AM. I did not say anything as it already left my mind. The more I get involved and try to offer solutions, it gets ugly. It always has been like that so I am out and happy. I do not like talking to a wall. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. I stopped being an enabler. Mother started the book but stopped at page 76 for a week. I do not think she will read the book and get herself to understand the situation. Her problem with drinking continues as well. We had a friend to join us on Friday night and literally had to carry her out of the bar. It happens about twice that she passes out. I have become an excellent on this over the years so when she tries to argue, which is the very first sign, I ignore and wait until she falls asleep. Nothing can stop her from drinking and she doesn't see it as a huge problem where she thinks it is under control, let it be. I will not make her drinking get me upset as it used to. I will have to take care of myself, too. As expected, my stepson must have told his mother that he is seriously depressed. That is another card he loves to play as mother buys it 100%. He has used that depression card few times, went to see a psychiatrist, got prescription medication and marijuana license. It is another excuse to being in bed until 1 in the afternoon. I have been depressed and taking medication for a while. I do not have to sleep until 1 in the afternoon and blaming things on my depression. I would love to if I could do that and still keep the whole house running. I have other important obligations for the family and have no choice but to suck it up and face the reality. I wake up in the morning, take the dogs out for a walk, feed them before heading to work. It is called priority in your life whether you suffer from depression or not. When my wife said to me his son is very depressed last night, I did not say anything but in my mind 'He's playing that card again and of course she is buying it again' It made me angry but did not say anything. My stepson is playing a pity card to stay as long as he can.... At the same time, my options are getting narrow as well. I have to prepare myself for the worst... I can do this... All I want is that a young man could go out, design his life on his way and move on. I want him out of the house so that other people in the house can breathe. The house is full of toxic negative energy. I am glad I cancelled his medical insurance. Mother and son either don't know it yet or do not want to confront me. I have 200 answers why I cancelled it plus gave a notice before. Life throws curve balls here and there. You have to learn how to hit curve balls. Have a great day friends. [/QUOTE]
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