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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 722581" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>I think your parents would rather see you happy then in a marriage that is making you so unhappy. You getting another divorce will not "kill your parents". They have much bigger fish to fry right now. </p><p></p><p>In the midst of the turmoil of your life, you've closed off every viable option for yourself so that those around you will, in your mind, be ok. You've done that to yourself. You're living for everyone else. That's a recipe for depression.</p><p></p><p>Your Dad's remission won't end because you leave your wife. Your wife will drink or not drink, it's up to her. Your step son will continue his negative lifestyle or not, it's up to him. None of it is up to you, you can't control any of it. And, you're not responsible for any of it. And, you can't change it. </p><p></p><p>Stop enabling everyone around you and figure out what it is that you want. Take action for YOU. You have to decide that you matter and that you're worth whatever change is necessary to protect YOU.</p><p></p><p>You seem right on the edge of a making a big change, which is when all the real or perceived fears pop up. Look at those fears and address each one honestly. It sure sounds as if change is afoot.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 722581, member: 13542"] I think your parents would rather see you happy then in a marriage that is making you so unhappy. You getting another divorce will not "kill your parents". They have much bigger fish to fry right now. In the midst of the turmoil of your life, you've closed off every viable option for yourself so that those around you will, in your mind, be ok. You've done that to yourself. You're living for everyone else. That's a recipe for depression. Your Dad's remission won't end because you leave your wife. Your wife will drink or not drink, it's up to her. Your step son will continue his negative lifestyle or not, it's up to him. None of it is up to you, you can't control any of it. And, you're not responsible for any of it. And, you can't change it. Stop enabling everyone around you and figure out what it is that you want. Take action for YOU. You have to decide that you matter and that you're worth whatever change is necessary to protect YOU. You seem right on the edge of a making a big change, which is when all the real or perceived fears pop up. Look at those fears and address each one honestly. It sure sounds as if change is afoot. [/QUOTE]
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