Newest Difficult Child drama
- Thread starter ksm
- Start date
AppleCori
Well-Known Member
I agree that the father getting well would be great! I am not sure what his illness is, so I don't know whether it is a long recovery or a short one, but I wish him the best.
As far as the kids getting to and from school, usually there are bus services unless you live very close to the school, but I don't know what they would do after they get home, if no adult is there.
There are after-school programs, so the school/authorities could facilitate that process if need be. The father can't depend on the OP's 18yo daughter to take care of the kids for free any longer, as she has to support herself and figure out how she is going to do that.
There are plenty of ways that the family can benefit from social services.
As far as the kids getting to and from school, usually there are bus services unless you live very close to the school, but I don't know what they would do after they get home, if no adult is there.
There are after-school programs, so the school/authorities could facilitate that process if need be. The father can't depend on the OP's 18yo daughter to take care of the kids for free any longer, as she has to support herself and figure out how she is going to do that.
There are plenty of ways that the family can benefit from social services.
AppleCori
Well-Known Member
That's the problem--the OP's daughter was the one who took care of them after school, which she was suppose to get paid for, but which never happened. Now, she has no job, no money to live on and pay her car insurance and other expenses, and is left holding the bag as the one responsible for getting the kids home from school and babysitting after school.
She is not in a position to do this.
Social Services would be a good resource, in my opinion.
This family needs help and the 18yo can't provide it.
I think that the kids are around ages 5, 6 , and 7.
She is not in a position to do this.
Social Services would be a good resource, in my opinion.
This family needs help and the 18yo can't provide it.
I think that the kids are around ages 5, 6 , and 7.
Yes, they are 5, 6 and 7. The 21 yo older brother had been in jail on drug charges. He can't drive because he license is suspended, before the drug charges happened. Plus, when she was "babysitting" it seemed like the dad wasn't even coming home.
The 6 and 7 year old were having major problems at school. One of them even kicked out a window at the home while Difficult Child was babysitting. One time, I helped her drive them to the park, and when he refused to buckle up, he started hitting himself in the head. She said the boys also destroyed all the 5 year old girls dolls and toys.
One day, the school called the father and made him remove the child from school and take him directly to the mental health facility to start getting help.
The weekend my daughter was stuck being the only adult to take care of the 7 year old from Fri to Sun...the father was up to traveling a couple hours away to attend a wedding. The 19yo older sister refused to even help take care of her younger half sibling.
I told Difficult Child to tell the family to contact the school and ask for help. There is limited bus services, only for kids with special needs, but sometimes they will make an exception for a temporary hardship circumstances. My husband is a school bus driver and knows it has been done.
Difficult Child is still planning on leaving for Louisiana at Thanksgiving time. Her dad asked her what town...she didn't know. Sigh. I asked her where the guy works...she didn't know. She doesn't know I paid for one month of car insurance...but she is still driving the car, thinking she doesn't have insurance. It runs out in 3 weeks. She won't be driving her car there...it probably wouldn't make it, when (if) she comes back to our state, it will have expired tags...and no insurance.
I just wonder how long it will take for this guy to get tired of having an 18yo child living with him, who can't remember to to put ice cream back in the freezer, pick up her dirty clothes, take the panty liners off her panties before putting them in the washer and dryer. She will leave the front door unlocked, and not even pulled shut. Leave lunch meat and mayo on the counter all day, and the bread wrapper wide open.
If you come home and she sees you putting things away, she immediately says, "oh, I was just going to do that!"
Sigh...
KSM
The 6 and 7 year old were having major problems at school. One of them even kicked out a window at the home while Difficult Child was babysitting. One time, I helped her drive them to the park, and when he refused to buckle up, he started hitting himself in the head. She said the boys also destroyed all the 5 year old girls dolls and toys.
One day, the school called the father and made him remove the child from school and take him directly to the mental health facility to start getting help.
The weekend my daughter was stuck being the only adult to take care of the 7 year old from Fri to Sun...the father was up to traveling a couple hours away to attend a wedding. The 19yo older sister refused to even help take care of her younger half sibling.
I told Difficult Child to tell the family to contact the school and ask for help. There is limited bus services, only for kids with special needs, but sometimes they will make an exception for a temporary hardship circumstances. My husband is a school bus driver and knows it has been done.
Difficult Child is still planning on leaving for Louisiana at Thanksgiving time. Her dad asked her what town...she didn't know. Sigh. I asked her where the guy works...she didn't know. She doesn't know I paid for one month of car insurance...but she is still driving the car, thinking she doesn't have insurance. It runs out in 3 weeks. She won't be driving her car there...it probably wouldn't make it, when (if) she comes back to our state, it will have expired tags...and no insurance.
I just wonder how long it will take for this guy to get tired of having an 18yo child living with him, who can't remember to to put ice cream back in the freezer, pick up her dirty clothes, take the panty liners off her panties before putting them in the washer and dryer. She will leave the front door unlocked, and not even pulled shut. Leave lunch meat and mayo on the counter all day, and the bread wrapper wide open.
If you come home and she sees you putting things away, she immediately says, "oh, I was just going to do that!"
Sigh...
KSM
BusynMember
Well-Known Member
others are usually distant relatives eager to step in. If not there are legions of caring foster homes. Now abused kids always have a higher chance for a bad ending because the abuse happened. But every child deserves a chance.
The bar IS high for removal of a child. Sometimes it's TOO high.
Remember, our countries are very different. It is comparing apples and oranges. It is not always best for a child to stay with family simply due to DNA, at least that is how we see it here. But kids are not removed quickly or often.
The bar IS high for removal of a child. Sometimes it's TOO high.
Remember, our countries are very different. It is comparing apples and oranges. It is not always best for a child to stay with family simply due to DNA, at least that is how we see it here. But kids are not removed quickly or often.
Snow White
On the Mad Tea Party Ride
They have no idea how much we worry when we don't have even the basic information. I asked my daughter the same thing when she took off from our home town. Was staying with a "friend of a friend" but knew no details. And mine never got her full driver's license (just the 'beginner' one) and drove a car given to her for 2 years! No foresight or fear of consequence.
What will happen if she gets kicked out? Will she try to come back and stay with you?
I wish I had more encouraging words for you other than, "She is an adult now and is making adult decisions." I just hope that she will be safe.
I agree with the others about getting some resources involved with the family she's been babysitting for.
{Hugs}
Copabanana
Well-Known Member
If your signature is still up to date, she is 17. In my state that is a minor. She could not travel without your consent, if that is the case.
I would worry about sexual exploitation by this man, at minimum. You do not mention his age, but still....
Her age makes a difference. If she is still a minor and you are responsible, I would put a halt to all of it.
It is to her credit that she finished the nurse's aid training and has been open to working. And she seems big-hearted and open to taking responsibility--as evidenced by her relationship with the chaotic family with so many kids!
But what kind of judgement is she showing by allowing herself to be exploited by this crew? Bitten by bugs?
It all hinges on how much control you have either legally or by asserting your parental authority. In the case of my own son, I have as much authority as his own needs and wants allow me to have. Which means, he uses me if he needs to, and cedes only when he is desperate.
Take care.
I would worry about sexual exploitation by this man, at minimum. You do not mention his age, but still....
Her age makes a difference. If she is still a minor and you are responsible, I would put a halt to all of it.
It is to her credit that she finished the nurse's aid training and has been open to working. And she seems big-hearted and open to taking responsibility--as evidenced by her relationship with the chaotic family with so many kids!
But what kind of judgement is she showing by allowing herself to be exploited by this crew? Bitten by bugs?
It all hinges on how much control you have either legally or by asserting your parental authority. In the case of my own son, I have as much authority as his own needs and wants allow me to have. Which means, he uses me if he needs to, and cedes only when he is desperate.
Take care.
Sorry, I haven't updated my signature... She turned 18 in March of this year. So legally she can leave.
She gravitates towards people that use her... It is scary. She has no long term friendships. But new friends become best friends after a couple of days. But a couple months later, they are no longer around, unless they need something.
I have looked at this guys FB page. He has privacy settings so I can only see his cover photos. I have no idea of his daily posts. It does seem like he has ties to this town.
Difficult Child is avoiding me on phone and social media. She has not logged on to FB for 2 days. Unusual. She has no phone service on her phone, but usually goes somewhere to log on. I did give her a flip phone that has service for calling and texting (500 minutes and 500texts) until 12/24. Two days ago after I sent her several texts, she called and told me to stop using up her minutes!!! Gee, I gave her the stupid phone! And when I asked her not to help her younger sister go places she shouldn't...she hung up on me.
She doesn't live at home with us since graduation. She moved in with my son, her stepfather. But really, that is just the place that she leaves most of her stuff. She is couch surfing.
Both girls seem bound and determined to follow in bio moms foot steps. Makes me feel nauseous just watching this unfold.
KSM
She gravitates towards people that use her... It is scary. She has no long term friendships. But new friends become best friends after a couple of days. But a couple months later, they are no longer around, unless they need something.
I have looked at this guys FB page. He has privacy settings so I can only see his cover photos. I have no idea of his daily posts. It does seem like he has ties to this town.
Difficult Child is avoiding me on phone and social media. She has not logged on to FB for 2 days. Unusual. She has no phone service on her phone, but usually goes somewhere to log on. I did give her a flip phone that has service for calling and texting (500 minutes and 500texts) until 12/24. Two days ago after I sent her several texts, she called and told me to stop using up her minutes!!! Gee, I gave her the stupid phone! And when I asked her not to help her younger sister go places she shouldn't...she hung up on me.
She doesn't live at home with us since graduation. She moved in with my son, her stepfather. But really, that is just the place that she leaves most of her stuff. She is couch surfing.
Both girls seem bound and determined to follow in bio moms foot steps. Makes me feel nauseous just watching this unfold.
KSM
