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Parent Emeritus
NewMember - Into the frying pan, in the fire...in hell
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 676119" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Oh, wow. Yikes.</p><p></p><p>This is only my opinion. You can't protect your fiance unless she WANTS you to protect her. It is impossible. You can not control her. If she is going to let her son bleed her dry, you can't stop it at all. In fact, you could end up the one he perps on. You don't need that. Even if you love her, you can't protect her, save her, or change her or her son. You can only control one person---you---and your reaction to fiance and to her son. But you can't get into anyone's head and change how the person thinks. You can only help somebody who asks for it and acts like he/she wants to have help that you offer.</p><p></p><p>If your fiance is protective of this son and makes excuses for him or wants him to eventually live at home, I'd head for the hills. This is VERY serious. I find it WORSE than most of the adult children who are here. A child predator of his age is unlikely to change. If Mom is going to pay his legal bills, of which he will have many, and stay overly engaged with him, I'd bolt.</p><p></p><p>It is really, in my opinion only (we all have our own opinions) dependent on the mother's attitude toward her very, very ill grown child who is doing very, very serious crimes. If she makes excuses, I would forget both of them ever existed. Again, this is just my own opinion and what I'd have done in the sad, dangerous situation. Antisocials have NO conscience and to date there is no treatment to change them and most of them don't have any desire to change anyway.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 676119, member: 1550"] Oh, wow. Yikes. This is only my opinion. You can't protect your fiance unless she WANTS you to protect her. It is impossible. You can not control her. If she is going to let her son bleed her dry, you can't stop it at all. In fact, you could end up the one he perps on. You don't need that. Even if you love her, you can't protect her, save her, or change her or her son. You can only control one person---you---and your reaction to fiance and to her son. But you can't get into anyone's head and change how the person thinks. You can only help somebody who asks for it and acts like he/she wants to have help that you offer. If your fiance is protective of this son and makes excuses for him or wants him to eventually live at home, I'd head for the hills. This is VERY serious. I find it WORSE than most of the adult children who are here. A child predator of his age is unlikely to change. If Mom is going to pay his legal bills, of which he will have many, and stay overly engaged with him, I'd bolt. It is really, in my opinion only (we all have our own opinions) dependent on the mother's attitude toward her very, very ill grown child who is doing very, very serious crimes. If she makes excuses, I would forget both of them ever existed. Again, this is just my own opinion and what I'd have done in the sad, dangerous situation. Antisocials have NO conscience and to date there is no treatment to change them and most of them don't have any desire to change anyway. [/QUOTE]
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NewMember - Into the frying pan, in the fire...in hell
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