Well, Youngest is getting married. She's known the guy since last summer, and has been living with him since October. I like him, he seems like a decent guy .. although honestly after the abusive father of her first child, and the pedophile father of her second, there's nowhere to go but up. But seriously, he loves her and the kids and I'm sure he'll be good to all of them. He's in the army, and has orders to deploy overseas in June. It's an unaccompanied tour to a remote country (although not the middle east) and he'll be away for a year. I worry about how she'll handle that, she absolutely hates being alone and that kind of separation is tough on any relationship, let alone a new one. But, my detachment skills are pretty good these days and I'm just not going to worry about it. It's their issue, not mine. The good thing is, since living with him she's developed a good network of friends on the base, and I know the military has a good support system for families while soldiers are away.
None of this is any surprise, and I'm kind of taking it in stride. I knew she'd simply move on to the next caretaker, she can't be without one for long (my therapist has suggested "dependent personality disorder.") At least she found a nice guy this time. The wedding will be a JOP thing, the second week in April. She says they'll have something big when he returns. Part of me is sad at the "loss" of another "normal" milestone .. no wedding to plan. I'm happy for her, but not in the way I'd like to be, if that makes any sense at all. But, it could be worse. It has been, so much worse. That's become my way of looking at things with my difficult children I guess: "it could be worse." Kinda sad, but that's my reality.
Oh and in true difficult child form, she's annoyed that I have plans to go out of town the weekend after her planned wedding date, and can't babysit the grandkids. I've had the trip planned for weeks, and can't change it. I told her if she could wait another week, I'd be happy to babysit.. but she doesn't want to change it. She still thinks I should drop everything to babysit when she wants me to, I think.. but at least she doesn't accuse me of being a bad grandmother any more when I won't/can't. She just gets an attitude, which I ignore
Oldest is doing fairly well these days, switched jobs again (her regular 6 month cycle), but seems financially stable. Plenty of drinking when she's not working, but no outward signs of pain pill abuse. She seems to be in a good roommate situation for once, her roommate's family is even taking her with them to Aruba in May. Her health is up and down, but hasn't affected work too badly so far. My detachment skills are pretty strong there, too.
Life goes on ...
None of this is any surprise, and I'm kind of taking it in stride. I knew she'd simply move on to the next caretaker, she can't be without one for long (my therapist has suggested "dependent personality disorder.") At least she found a nice guy this time. The wedding will be a JOP thing, the second week in April. She says they'll have something big when he returns. Part of me is sad at the "loss" of another "normal" milestone .. no wedding to plan. I'm happy for her, but not in the way I'd like to be, if that makes any sense at all. But, it could be worse. It has been, so much worse. That's become my way of looking at things with my difficult children I guess: "it could be worse." Kinda sad, but that's my reality.
Oh and in true difficult child form, she's annoyed that I have plans to go out of town the weekend after her planned wedding date, and can't babysit the grandkids. I've had the trip planned for weeks, and can't change it. I told her if she could wait another week, I'd be happy to babysit.. but she doesn't want to change it. She still thinks I should drop everything to babysit when she wants me to, I think.. but at least she doesn't accuse me of being a bad grandmother any more when I won't/can't. She just gets an attitude, which I ignore
Oldest is doing fairly well these days, switched jobs again (her regular 6 month cycle), but seems financially stable. Plenty of drinking when she's not working, but no outward signs of pain pill abuse. She seems to be in a good roommate situation for once, her roommate's family is even taking her with them to Aruba in May. Her health is up and down, but hasn't affected work too badly so far. My detachment skills are pretty strong there, too.
Life goes on ...