Newsweek Article, Struggling School Age Boys

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by SRL, Sep 9, 2008.

  1. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    A new study is out showing that parents of 1 out of 5 seek out help for behavioral problems in their school age boys. The article poses many questions, including societal changes in the family and schools in the last decades.

    If true, it's rather disturbing for us as culture, in my opinion. We'll have to watch for followups.
  2. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Thanks for posting it, this is a good article. It always seems counter productive when difficult child loses recess as a punishment. Do they realize they are punishing themselves?
  3. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I read it- all I can say is "Amen". Now, how many years will it take for sd's and legal authorities to figure out that our society is broken and maybe it isn't the parent's fault?

    thanks for posting that!
  4. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I have been owrried about this since before I had Wiz. So very many families are buying into the idea that kids need to have scheduled activities from such early ages. It is hard to NOT buy into the idea, simply because it is so widespread.

    I have personally had parents and teachers and even mental health "professionals" tell me I am neglecting my kids by limiting their after school activities to ONE. I think sports, scouts, art classes, gymnastics, martial arts, etc... are all great. I just think that they aren't great at the same time. For us itis a firm limit. I started it because I wanted to make a firm emphasis on family time. With even 1 child it is easy to lose family time when you are taking kids to all sorts of activities. And that is with one parent staying home full time.

    When we both worked there wasn't time to just be a family after we got the kids from afterschool care and then did sports, scouts, etc.... I happen to LIKE the other members of my family most days, and I want to spend time with them.

    Once the sensory issues were identified I slowed us down even further. That is when I started getting reactions that I was neglecting my children or even abusing them.

    If it is true, well, tough. They still are not going to be involved in so many things that we can't be a family. I find that the demands of jr high and high school make it tough for the kids to even handle one activity each, though I know some of their friends are in several things per child.

    I really think we do a disservice to our kids by not having them chose activities, because they don't then learn to actually budget time. They also can end up so totally stressed that behavior suffers. Our best school years have been when we kept to these limits.

    I do wish teachers/schools wouldn't limit recess. It is idiotic. how many of us could have sat through an entire day of school with-o time to run around some? Our state legislature here in OK put through laws saying kids in school will go out when the weather is above some limit and not actively raining/snowing. So even on days that are quite cold the kids go outside. It really makes a difference.

    And yes. It IS different for boys. Their body and brain chemistry is different. It is harder for many of them than for many girls. Not all of either sex, though.

    personally, I think we need to focus on letting kids actually BE kids, even if their high school "resume" doesn't include as many activities.

    I can say thank you is much happier on days when he can come home and "chill" than on days we go run errands between activities - even if those errands are just getting a snack on the way.
  5. tkjfamily

    tkjfamily New Member

    I definitely agree. When my son was in elementary school, they would punish him by removing recess and also send him to lunch detention. We spoke with the doctors and got a note saying that this is not good for him and to find another alternative.

    We also have cut back ALOT. My older children were involved in several activities but my difficult child just can't handle that much, although he REALLY likes sports and Taekwondo. However, our life is much easier with them limited.