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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
No denial now. What's the best course of action?
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 669806" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>Hmmmm its a hard choice I think. You dont actually have the option of jail..... that will be up to the court system. You do have the option of going to the police and having them file charges. I say this because whatever you decide to do you need to be clear and be able to follow through. You cant follow through with jail as that will be out of your hands, but you can follow up by reporting it to the police.</p><p></p><p>So I am trying to think this through with you....so your choices are:</p><p></p><p>1) Go to the police without warning him and let them charge him. Hopefully they would. Then it is out of your hands. He will probably be angry with you for doing it but it does give him a very clear message that you will not tolerate that kind of behavior. Generally as a victim of a crime the DA will consult with you about consequences and you could let them know you want him to get treatment. One problem though with the court system is it moves very very slowly.</p><p></p><p>2) You can talk to him and give him the choice of going to rehab or your reporting it to the police. This might get him to go to rehab..... and it might not. If it doesnt you have to be willing to follow through and go to the police and not buy into all his pleas of how he will stop on his own etc etc.</p><p></p><p>3)You can tell him he has to leave, that you are not willing to have him live there. You can do this as you say by leaving him a note.... personally I would do this in person, but be willing to call the police if he refuses to go or really acts up. In a way this is a pretty natural consequence of him stealing from you and his drug use.</p><p>I will say from experience having your son be homeless is really really hard and things might get worse before it gets better.</p><p></p><p>My sense after writing all this out is that you should have a conversation with him, making it clear that you are no longer in denial. Show him the check. Let him know you know what he did and then give him his options which I think basically are to move out or to go to rehab.Ultimately he will make the choice. Good luck and keep posting, we understand.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 669806, member: 15801"] Hmmmm its a hard choice I think. You dont actually have the option of jail..... that will be up to the court system. You do have the option of going to the police and having them file charges. I say this because whatever you decide to do you need to be clear and be able to follow through. You cant follow through with jail as that will be out of your hands, but you can follow up by reporting it to the police. So I am trying to think this through with you....so your choices are: 1) Go to the police without warning him and let them charge him. Hopefully they would. Then it is out of your hands. He will probably be angry with you for doing it but it does give him a very clear message that you will not tolerate that kind of behavior. Generally as a victim of a crime the DA will consult with you about consequences and you could let them know you want him to get treatment. One problem though with the court system is it moves very very slowly. 2) You can talk to him and give him the choice of going to rehab or your reporting it to the police. This might get him to go to rehab..... and it might not. If it doesnt you have to be willing to follow through and go to the police and not buy into all his pleas of how he will stop on his own etc etc. 3)You can tell him he has to leave, that you are not willing to have him live there. You can do this as you say by leaving him a note.... personally I would do this in person, but be willing to call the police if he refuses to go or really acts up. In a way this is a pretty natural consequence of him stealing from you and his drug use. I will say from experience having your son be homeless is really really hard and things might get worse before it gets better. My sense after writing all this out is that you should have a conversation with him, making it clear that you are no longer in denial. Show him the check. Let him know you know what he did and then give him his options which I think basically are to move out or to go to rehab.Ultimately he will make the choice. Good luck and keep posting, we understand. [/QUOTE]
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No denial now. What's the best course of action?
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