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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
No denial now. What's the best course of action?
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 669853" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>I wanted to respond a little to what Jabberwockey said. On the one hand I agree with him.... real change comes when the motivation is internal to the person rather than external (ie parents or the legal system). But I think when you are talking about a teen there are benefits to giving them the option of rehab even though they might not take it as seriously as you want them to. My son has been to many programs, we have been doing this gig for years and clearly most of the time it was to get out of trouble, get out of jail, to stop being homeless etc. etc. Until this last time and now it is coming from within him, and his attitude is totally different.</p><p></p><p>But those times in program did give him some clean time and did give him some time not using drugs.... and especially in his early teen years I think this was important in terms of his brain development..... and I also think our recognition of the problem may have saved him from going much deeper much faster. He is still alive after all..... and I also think letting him know we would be there for him when he wants help made a difference to him when he spent time in jail and other times because I think at some level he knew he was loved. There was a time when I thought all that was keeping him from becoming a hardened criminal was the love of his mother.</p><p></p><p>And it was interesting because in talking to the therapist at the last treatment place, he was ahead of others of his age group (and older) in terms of how he handled treatment. He knows the ropes, he knows a lot of fhe stuff, he knows what works and now that he is actually serious about recovery that gave him some insight.</p><p></p><p>This is all to say that dont have high expectations for rehab if he doesnt really want it, but I still think it is worth pushing him off his current track. And I do think there are some who once they get into treatment, stop using drugs they reevaluate and decide they do really want help.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 669853, member: 15801"] I wanted to respond a little to what Jabberwockey said. On the one hand I agree with him.... real change comes when the motivation is internal to the person rather than external (ie parents or the legal system). But I think when you are talking about a teen there are benefits to giving them the option of rehab even though they might not take it as seriously as you want them to. My son has been to many programs, we have been doing this gig for years and clearly most of the time it was to get out of trouble, get out of jail, to stop being homeless etc. etc. Until this last time and now it is coming from within him, and his attitude is totally different. But those times in program did give him some clean time and did give him some time not using drugs.... and especially in his early teen years I think this was important in terms of his brain development..... and I also think our recognition of the problem may have saved him from going much deeper much faster. He is still alive after all..... and I also think letting him know we would be there for him when he wants help made a difference to him when he spent time in jail and other times because I think at some level he knew he was loved. There was a time when I thought all that was keeping him from becoming a hardened criminal was the love of his mother. And it was interesting because in talking to the therapist at the last treatment place, he was ahead of others of his age group (and older) in terms of how he handled treatment. He knows the ropes, he knows a lot of fhe stuff, he knows what works and now that he is actually serious about recovery that gave him some insight. This is all to say that dont have high expectations for rehab if he doesnt really want it, but I still think it is worth pushing him off his current track. And I do think there are some who once they get into treatment, stop using drugs they reevaluate and decide they do really want help. [/QUOTE]
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No denial now. What's the best course of action?
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