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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 60091" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>If the problems you have been having are due to any component of "difficult child-ness" then you can never move to get away from it. It comes along for the ride.</p><p></p><p>You don't seem to have had a lot of time to come to this decision. It may need more thought. I suggest you sit down after everyone else is in bed, and think things through. Have paper and pencil with you and draw columns on the paper. You need six columns (or three columns, on two sheets of paper).</p><p></p><p>Let's assume you have two pages. On the top of the first page, you write "STAY" and on the second "GO".</p><p>Underneath that, at the top of each column, you write "plus", "minus", "interesting". (basically, this is doing a PMI on the issue).</p><p></p><p>You then list all the things that you need to think about, for each option. What are the advantages of staying? What are the disadvantages? What are the other aspects, neither good nor bad, but still needing to be acknowledged?</p><p>Then do the same for leaving.</p><p>Look at your lists. Add to them as you think of other things. Think about the things you have mentioned. Are any of them avoidable in some other way? Available in some other way? </p><p>Also to consider - what is the best possible outcome from leaving? From staying? What is the worst?</p><p></p><p>Writing it down makes it easier to analyse a decision like this, impartially. No matter how carefully you think about it, you can't work it out properly in your head.</p><p></p><p>If your decision to leave is in any way connected to concerns about what other people will think, also be aware that leaving can make them think far worse, because you have apparently run away. This is a small world, you can never be sure that some of whatever you're trying to get away from, won't follow you.</p><p>If you stay, you would have to deal with people's responses to you (if it's gossip that concerns you) and sometimes, standing your ground can be very empowering. If you feel you're on the run, you feel weak and afraid. If you feel your feet firm on the ground, it gives you confidence. It can also give the lie to most gossip.</p><p></p><p>Good luck with your decision and the direction you will be taking, whichever you choose.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 60091, member: 1991"] If the problems you have been having are due to any component of "difficult child-ness" then you can never move to get away from it. It comes along for the ride. You don't seem to have had a lot of time to come to this decision. It may need more thought. I suggest you sit down after everyone else is in bed, and think things through. Have paper and pencil with you and draw columns on the paper. You need six columns (or three columns, on two sheets of paper). Let's assume you have two pages. On the top of the first page, you write "STAY" and on the second "GO". Underneath that, at the top of each column, you write "plus", "minus", "interesting". (basically, this is doing a PMI on the issue). You then list all the things that you need to think about, for each option. What are the advantages of staying? What are the disadvantages? What are the other aspects, neither good nor bad, but still needing to be acknowledged? Then do the same for leaving. Look at your lists. Add to them as you think of other things. Think about the things you have mentioned. Are any of them avoidable in some other way? Available in some other way? Also to consider - what is the best possible outcome from leaving? From staying? What is the worst? Writing it down makes it easier to analyse a decision like this, impartially. No matter how carefully you think about it, you can't work it out properly in your head. If your decision to leave is in any way connected to concerns about what other people will think, also be aware that leaving can make them think far worse, because you have apparently run away. This is a small world, you can never be sure that some of whatever you're trying to get away from, won't follow you. If you stay, you would have to deal with people's responses to you (if it's gossip that concerns you) and sometimes, standing your ground can be very empowering. If you feel you're on the run, you feel weak and afraid. If you feel your feet firm on the ground, it gives you confidence. It can also give the lie to most gossip. Good luck with your decision and the direction you will be taking, whichever you choose. Marg [/QUOTE]
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