Hi, I am new here and so glad I found this board!!! For the last few months we have been made to feel like our daughter's behavior is something new and has never been seen before. We find this hard to believe and now I know we are not the only ones out there. Just some background... We adopted our daughter when she was 5 weeks old. She was a very easy baby. We've also been told by several people how bright and smart she is. She's always had a very large and great vocabulary, is affectionate, loves to play with kids, loves music and loves to sing and dance. We were very fortunate enough for the first 3 years to have a close family friend watch her while we both worked. My husband and I felt that the timing was probably right for a daycare so she could get more socialization with other kids her own age and get a little bit of a preschool environment as well. Daycare #1 - Attended for 4 months (large room with 40 kids - 10 kids per lead teacher-daughters teacher was about 20-22 yrs old) We were very excited about this daycare. Staff seemed great. We're told they would promote potty training - she was wearing pull-ups almost there) and lost of kids her age to play with. Things seemed to be going well. I'd usually spend 5-10 minutes each morning at drop off and pickup talking to the teachers asking how her day was. Mostly got the same response. "today was good. she did this or that" and of course there were days she either didn't take a nap and had a rougher time listening. One day they told my husband she hit a teacher, this was the first time she had ever done this - at least to our knowledge. Two weeks later I get a call at work from the director - not asking me to stop in to talk but she just told me on the phone that our daughter was out of control and has been since her first day and we were given two weeks to find another place to take her. As you can imagine I was taken off guard and upset. My huband met me at the daycare to talk to her before getting our daughter. We were told she have outbursts daily - mostly during nap time and other parents were starting to complain. Our daughter has never been much of a napper - which we told them so when they try to make her stay on a cot for 2 hrs she gets mad and it intensifies. The director then stated she had never seen a child with such anger/aggression and have we thought of seeing a behavorial specialist. I was speechless because up until this we had NEVER had anything like this go on with her at home or anywhere else. We immediately pulled her out of there that day and found somewhere else. Daycare #2 - Attended for just over a year. (smaller room max of 16 kids and lead teacher & usually an assistant) Our daughter seemed to do much better here. Within a week she was taking naps - not every day but a few times a week and were were also told she was more than ready to be wearing underwear - something the other daycare gave up on after only 1 week even though she was doing fine at home. After a few months they moved her into a new classroom (corresponded to the school year) and she continued to do rather well learning more and more with just a bad day here or there. Somewhere around spring she started acting out hitting on occassion - not usually other kids just the teachers - again a naptime or when there was something she didn't want to do. We got her some kids books talking about how hitting hurts our friends and how we should use our words when we were angry. Summer came and the hitting became more constant and even started at home - mostly with just me. Also they had some staff changes - the big one was a new director. On our own accord we decided to seek help from a behavioral therapist thinking maybe we were doing something wrong. We told the daycare and they were pleased to hear that. We even wanted the therapist to come there for observation to give them some ideas as well. It took the director 3 weeks to get back to our therapist to set something up. During that time our daughter's teacher was fired and not replaced leaving an assistant to deal with the class by herself. When our therapist did finally go in for observation she told us that it wasn't just our daughter but there was no control over any of the class. She gave the daycare some things to try and they seemed positive and willing to work with us. Two days later the director there called me and said they tried the recommendations but it was not working and they just didn't have the resources to deal with her. So after our daughter attending for more than 1 year there and them just taking 2 days to try something new they had enough. Again we were frustrated, upset and angry. Even the therapist was surprised. Daycare #3 - Attended for 2 weeks ( home daycare with only 2 other kids at the time. The lady had plenty of experience as a preschool teacher and one of her sons has ADD and was recommended by a friend of a friend) We told the lady upfront about everything and how we thought a smaller environment would be good for her so she could get a little more individual attention and she agreed. Things were okay for a day or two then our daughter started push any and all buttons she could find. The hitting started almost immediately. Each day the daycare provider would suggest, do you thing she maybe autistic, have they tested her for ADD or ADHD, you should really get her on some medication before she starts school. She's only 4 for pete's sake! The whole reason we are going to a behavioral therapist is so we can avoid medication. After just two weeks she called us and said she just couldn't handle her anymore. In a way I was glad because I didn't care for her. Not because of her suggestions but just didn't get any kind of warm and fuzzy feelings from her. So now we are on daycare #4 which she's in her second week. We've sent the therapist there twice. They are really trying to work hard with us but at this point I have not faith that they will try for very long either. We are so frustrated and disappointed that we are seeking help but it seems like there is none to be found. Our therapist really things that our daughter will benefit and has already shown signs of improvement with consistancy and structure. This is fine for home but what are we supposed to do about the time where we have to work if no one is willing to even try. It's just so exhausting some days and I don't want my daughter to grow up feeling like no one will give her a chance. She is very smart for her age (not just us thinking this we've been told by almost everyone) and very affectionate. Unfortunately I'm feeling like our next and only step is to do a complete evaluation and possibly some sort of medication. I'm just afraid of how that will effect her personality. I don't want a robot/vegatable for a daughter. Besides her anger impulses everything else is managable and typical of a 4 year old. Anyway just wanted to vent and maybe get some advice from those who've been there. Thank you for listening.