katya02
Solace
difficult child told me yesterday he's stopped all his medications; decided they just make him fat and he doesn't need them. Um, it's the several heaping bowls of cereal daily that put the weight on, but ...
So he's back to his usual irritable self. Although I can't say I want him to stay on Depakote just to sedate the irritability out of him - he was really sedated, blunted, and not functional the two weeks he was on it. Within 24 hours of stopping his 'normal' personality reappeared. I'd rather he deal with his ways of thinking that get him into trouble, and with his anger issues, than just sedate him until he walks around like a zombie.
He got angry yesterday over two things. First, he wanted me to drive him 40 miles to my hairdresser for a haircut. His hair looks awful right now, all uneven and scruffy and over his ears. I agreed but said he could pay the $15 for the haircut and I would pay the gas. Bargain! No, he got mad and said I was nickel and diming him. When you spent $200 on Wow this month, I told him, you can certainly afford $15 for a haircut. So he decided not to get his hair cut!
He got angry again when I told him the new tobacco policy in the house: smoking/chewing/whatever ONLY outside, in designated areas, and all tobacco products (whether butts or spit or chew gob) ONLY in the designated container, which he is responsible to change as necessary. All tobacco stays in one drawer on the main floor until taken outside to be used. He said that since we aren't 'keeping up our end' (he found a bottle of wine hidden in husband's den - our oldest son came home for a night and we shared a bottle of wine, there's nothing else in the house before or since) then he doesn't have to abide by his end of any agreement, and we're not treating him like an adult. Nope, I said, it's our house and we can say where tobacco can be. If you move in with a friend, the friend will get to say where tobacco can be because it's his place, it's not an issue about being an 'adult' or not.
We had to make the policy because difficult child's carpet was stained with tobacco spit (!) when we got the carpets cleaned recently, he leaves butts all over the landscaping and gardens, and he has ignored my previous requests to keep all tobacco in a drawer on the main floor and never to chew in his room. The consequence is, first violation we remove his laptop for 2 days; second violation, a week; third violation, we remove it for good. This is the worst thing for him because he plays Wow for hours every day.
We were in the car when I told him, and when I stopped to make a left turn into the parking lot (I was taking him to counseling) he got out of the car and left his door wide open. I couldn't reach it; had to put the car in park and get out, run around the vehicle, close the door, and run back, all in the middle of traffic.
So I drove home and left him there to walk home (four miles).
His counselor told him it's time to move out and gave him info on some local housing for people with mental illness and/or SA issues. He was very subdued last night.
So he's back to his usual irritable self. Although I can't say I want him to stay on Depakote just to sedate the irritability out of him - he was really sedated, blunted, and not functional the two weeks he was on it. Within 24 hours of stopping his 'normal' personality reappeared. I'd rather he deal with his ways of thinking that get him into trouble, and with his anger issues, than just sedate him until he walks around like a zombie.
He got angry yesterday over two things. First, he wanted me to drive him 40 miles to my hairdresser for a haircut. His hair looks awful right now, all uneven and scruffy and over his ears. I agreed but said he could pay the $15 for the haircut and I would pay the gas. Bargain! No, he got mad and said I was nickel and diming him. When you spent $200 on Wow this month, I told him, you can certainly afford $15 for a haircut. So he decided not to get his hair cut!
He got angry again when I told him the new tobacco policy in the house: smoking/chewing/whatever ONLY outside, in designated areas, and all tobacco products (whether butts or spit or chew gob) ONLY in the designated container, which he is responsible to change as necessary. All tobacco stays in one drawer on the main floor until taken outside to be used. He said that since we aren't 'keeping up our end' (he found a bottle of wine hidden in husband's den - our oldest son came home for a night and we shared a bottle of wine, there's nothing else in the house before or since) then he doesn't have to abide by his end of any agreement, and we're not treating him like an adult. Nope, I said, it's our house and we can say where tobacco can be. If you move in with a friend, the friend will get to say where tobacco can be because it's his place, it's not an issue about being an 'adult' or not.
We had to make the policy because difficult child's carpet was stained with tobacco spit (!) when we got the carpets cleaned recently, he leaves butts all over the landscaping and gardens, and he has ignored my previous requests to keep all tobacco in a drawer on the main floor and never to chew in his room. The consequence is, first violation we remove his laptop for 2 days; second violation, a week; third violation, we remove it for good. This is the worst thing for him because he plays Wow for hours every day.
We were in the car when I told him, and when I stopped to make a left turn into the parking lot (I was taking him to counseling) he got out of the car and left his door wide open. I couldn't reach it; had to put the car in park and get out, run around the vehicle, close the door, and run back, all in the middle of traffic.
So I drove home and left him there to walk home (four miles).
His counselor told him it's time to move out and gave him info on some local housing for people with mental illness and/or SA issues. He was very subdued last night.
