No "no meltdown monday" for us...unbelievable how much the SD is undermining difficult child 2

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by confuzzled, Apr 26, 2010.

  1. confuzzled

    confuzzled Member

    rant (and maybe i just need some cheese with this whine, but you all will know).

    i'm truly at a loss with these people. we JUST had a meeting, we JUST discussed how spED is moving WAY too slowly for my difficult child and how she needs to accelerate, while reducing extraneous writing, even though she still supposedly needs a small group placement.

    promises galore that no problem, we all understand, we will ensure that happens. effective immediately. both teachers on board and enthusiastic.

    what actually happens?
    regED: one exact assignment that i said we needed to modify and they agreed, and said no problem (easiest fix in the world!), comes home
    done in the original format (one of those copy umpteen full sentences from the back of the chapter to add that one missing word--the mod was she was to just write the word).

    spED: practicing for standard test for literally about the 90th day in a row. two page comprehension exercise with about 6 paragraphs/4q's...probably a 5 minute assignment for my kid. instead, they took the entire 90 minute period to s-l-o-w-l-y go over each section, and were not allowed to move on until the teacher said. (i get that the point *could* have been to follow directions, but umm, no, it wasnt---the rest of the class probably did need the whole period). and, maybe normally i wouldnt be so annoyed over this had we we *KNOW* its her number one trigger right now, and she SO does not belong in this class (and if difficult child would just pull herself together i'd fight to the end to get her out--i'm only tentative because i dont want to exacerbate the pressure/stress)!! in case you were wondering--it actually *did* take her about 5 min...she was stuck doing it for homework anyway.

    difficult child doesnt have the greatest coping skills. or self regulatory skills. but even SHE has tried 83 various methods that dont involve crying to give these people a clue. we are working so hard to minimize behaviors--and quite frankly, she's doing an amazing job, and i'm proud to say while its far from perfect, i've never seen anyone try harder.

    and today, she completely lost it when they wouldnt let her move on.

    its a miracle my kid just has meltdowns....

    cause i'm about ready to stick a fork in my eye.
  2. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    Is it you or the school that feels she needs a small room placement? And why specifically?

    Because it sounds like this class is really holding your child back, and the frustration from that alone creates a lot of stress.

    I have to say I'm not surprised that it's like you never had a meeting. I walk away from each meeting feeling good, but within days realizing it was just an exercise in futility.

  3. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Sweetie, don't stick a fork in YOUR eye. You will get blood and ick on that nice new top. Stick it in the spEd's eye.

    SOOO much easier on the dry cleaning bill.

    Is she on an IEP? Are these things in her IEP? If they are in her IEP I would take the assignments to school and tell her that you will be modifying them so that she just writes the correct word. Or that they MUST do this.

    Can you ask the sped to let her keep a book or quiet manipulative at her desk to read/draw on/mess with if she must wait for the class to catch up? This should be the heart of sped. ESP during practice for a state test. I can see not having them during the actual test, but not on the practice. At least as long as she isn't bothering others.

    If she has no IEP then you need to get one (sounds like she has one). If they don't want to follow through with decreasing the handwriting requirements, see about adding dysgraphia to her diagnosis list. It is dyslexia for handwriting (very simplistically stated) and can be the reason for further assistance.

    Also, have you heard of an alphasmart? It is a super-durable computer that the child can do homework, classwork, notetaking, etc... in. Being able to type rather than to write made a HUGE difference for Wiz. He couldn't "type" but even his hunt and peck typing was better than the handwriting. These can be dropped, etc... and still usually work. You can have this put into her IEP as technical aid or assistance. School should have some or pay for one. If you want to and can avoid the red tape and budget whining, they might let you pay for one for difficult child to take to school and use. I have even seen used ones on Ebay. This would help her in many ways.

    I would also take her assignments to the principal and ask exactly why it was not modified for her if the teacher doesn't have a satisfactory answer, apology (if needed) and doesn't change things. Just DON"T let them tell her that for all future assignments she can just write the word/answer/whatever regardless of the instructions to the class. They should NOT be teaching her to make her own modifications - it will lead to big trouble for her if she doesn't modify things exactly as the teacher would have wanted. difficult children are not ready for that responsibility. We first heard that hogwash for Wiz in 2nd grade. No matter what he did they were unhappy with it. Even if he did the assignment the way the rest of the class did!