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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 693543" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Hi All,</p><p>Down from the mountain for a little break. I am up behind the house wielding a big machete and chopping the heck out of the jungle. It is cathartic.</p><p> Aloha Kalahou, yes, bit by bit. I have my moments, but am determined to swim through the strong currents that wash over me.</p><p> It was a beautiful clear day. There is some closure, hubs is finally at rest. I have much to do to settle myself and move forward, but my son and Hoku are a big help. We are all comforting one another. I am glad that I have my three kids who are doing well, to counteract the other two.</p><p> At this point, everything is fly by night. They have been flying by the seat of their pants for a long time now. Hopefully one day, Tornado will have some kind of plan, but it seems for now they move from one disaster to the next.</p><p> Mahalo nui for your kind thoughts and support Tita. You malama pono, too. I hope all is well with you.</p><p> Perfectly put, Swot. I agree.</p><p> Thank you SS. You stay close as well. I have a huge job cut out for me with just about everything, finances, house repairs, land clearing, sorting through hubs "treasures" (he was hoarding a lot of stuff, multiple tools, never wanted to throw anything away or "recycle it") So will sometimes be a bit lax myself. I am always thinking of my CD friends.</p><p> You know Cedar, it is what it is. I just shake my head now and say "How typical". I let that drive me towards not putting up with it. It really disgusts me.</p><p></p><p> Thanks, sister. You know, if they think I am a beyotch, I don't give a #*&@. That is where I am right now. <em>Whatever</em>. I do not need their crap, or accept it. <em>It is their crap</em>. I didn't raise them that way, gave them a pretty good life, yes, made some mistakes but nothing to warrant their crap oozing up over into my life.</p><p></p><p> It was horrible. But so <em>typical. </em>That sort of thing just makes me detach even more, RN.</p><p>I love them, but want nothing to do with them. I don't <em>like </em>them, hate their choices, and have absolutely no control. </p><p>It's weird because I am on my toes and on my best behavior around my mom. </p><p>These guys keep pulling out the worst stuff, at my home, in front of my whopped jaw and protruding eyeballs, don't even <em>attempt</em> to hide it. I think I would be doing them a <em>disservice by putting up with it. </em>So, I won't. If they want to live this way, it is on them. I want no part of it. Period.</p><p></p><p>Thanks all for your support and understanding.</p><p>Going back up the mountain to chop trees and pick axe weeds.</p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/warriorsmiley.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":warriorsmiley:" title="warriorsmiley :warriorsmiley:" data-shortname=":warriorsmiley:" /> (replace sword with machete)</p><p></p><p>Stinky, sweaty, mad, determined</p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 693543, member: 19522"] Hi All, Down from the mountain for a little break. I am up behind the house wielding a big machete and chopping the heck out of the jungle. It is cathartic. Aloha Kalahou, yes, bit by bit. I have my moments, but am determined to swim through the strong currents that wash over me. It was a beautiful clear day. There is some closure, hubs is finally at rest. I have much to do to settle myself and move forward, but my son and Hoku are a big help. We are all comforting one another. I am glad that I have my three kids who are doing well, to counteract the other two. At this point, everything is fly by night. They have been flying by the seat of their pants for a long time now. Hopefully one day, Tornado will have some kind of plan, but it seems for now they move from one disaster to the next. Mahalo nui for your kind thoughts and support Tita. You malama pono, too. I hope all is well with you. Perfectly put, Swot. I agree. Thank you SS. You stay close as well. I have a huge job cut out for me with just about everything, finances, house repairs, land clearing, sorting through hubs "treasures" (he was hoarding a lot of stuff, multiple tools, never wanted to throw anything away or "recycle it") So will sometimes be a bit lax myself. I am always thinking of my CD friends. You know Cedar, it is what it is. I just shake my head now and say "How typical". I let that drive me towards not putting up with it. It really disgusts me. Thanks, sister. You know, if they think I am a beyotch, I don't give a #*&@. That is where I am right now. [I]Whatever[/I]. I do not need their crap, or accept it. [I]It is their crap[/I]. I didn't raise them that way, gave them a pretty good life, yes, made some mistakes but nothing to warrant their crap oozing up over into my life. It was horrible. But so [I]typical. [/I]That sort of thing just makes me detach even more, RN. I love them, but want nothing to do with them. I don't [I]like [/I]them, hate their choices, and have absolutely no control. It's weird because I am on my toes and on my best behavior around my mom. These guys keep pulling out the worst stuff, at my home, in front of my whopped jaw and protruding eyeballs, don't even [I]attempt[/I] to hide it. I think I would be doing them a [I]disservice by putting up with it. [/I]So, I won't. If they want to live this way, it is on them. I want no part of it. Period. Thanks all for your support and understanding. Going back up the mountain to chop trees and pick axe weeds. :warriorsmiley: (replace sword with machete) Stinky, sweaty, mad, determined Leafy [/QUOTE]
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