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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 636600" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>Thanks for all your interesting thoughts. Well, the fact that your grandson is an amazing reader differentiates him from J right away, HMBgal! J HATES reading and writing and doesn't do either to speak of. Because I have until this point concentrated on him acquiring languages - he is trilingual, which is an important part of who he is and, I would say, of his self-esteem because people eveywhere are so impressed by it - he has not had much consistent specialist help with his dyslexia. We have moved country too much. He is bright and curious and people would say intelligent but his most obvious "talent" is actually practical - seeing the practical solution to something, or repairing things, which he seems gifted at. He doesn't "cycle" that I've notitced but I do keep getting lulled into a false sense of security, because at times he can seem basically fine, if always larger than life, and then suddenly, bam.... a huge temper tantrum or bout of opposition will descend seemingly out of the skies. </p><p></p><p>As for neuro-psychiatric evaluations, he had a thorough one when he was six, in France. Pointed to severe ADHD (neuro-psychs in France cannot formally diagnose ADHD but their tests can reveal it, showed a biggish discrepancy in IQ (as is typical) using the WISC IV, highlighted visual-spatial problems. The trouble with doing one in the States, say, is that it would be "corrupted" by his lower level of English - though he is fluent in English and it's the language he and I speak together, it is his "least good" language and he does not write it all. Of course this will change if he goes to school in UK. I had no idea pre-birth alcohol exposure could be identified by a neuro-psychiatric evaluation, is that true?? Of course, MWM, if I could know anything about his birth parents, I would have insisted on knowing about it by now. There is nothing to be known. An unknown woman, presenting no identity documents, went into hospital just before giving birth to him and then disappeared, leaving J behind.... That's it. </p><p></p><p>As for "something else" going on other than ADHD, I feel we are slightly misrepresenting what ADHD is... it is not just a few gentle concentration problems in the classroom. According to Russell Barkley, the "ADHD man", at its BASIS is a problem of self-regulation, of emotional self-control. And the opposition develops/is exacerbated by the way in which the child is treated, being so often criticised, punished, rejected for behaviour that they cannot essentially control. In J's case, however, there IS some level of attachment problem and he has long been particularly difficult, rude, defiant with me above all. He needs stability, I think, fixed routine and he needs people who will, yes, give him a chance and see his potential. I really don't think J is autistic but he shares some autistic traits - finds change/transition very difficult, real sensory over-sensitivity, etc. </p><p></p><p>It just catches me blindsided. He can be so sweet, funny, affectionate.... he'll be going on like this, basically co-operating and clearly trying to be good and then, as I say, Mr Jekyll will suddenly appear, frothing at the mouth and intent on making life hell for all around... usually linked to him not having something he wants. He can call me the most disgusting names under the sun, try to kick and hit me, throw toys around. He just will not give up... It's like a much, much younger child... a two-year old... he still sucks his thumb and has a security blanket, at nearly eight. Stopped wetting the bed at night about a year ago, hurray, and in other ways is very "street smart" and independent. I see him in groups... he is fairly social, outgoing and friendly but he never wants to do what the group is doing, never wants to submit to the "group experience" but wants to do things his own way. And that's really the basie of what is "wrong" with J. He cannot accept not having things his way.</p><p></p><p>I really sympathise with the medications problems, HMBgal. Maybe your grandson got to be able intellectually because of the medications? We had to try them but I have lost all hope, really, that there's a medication that won't make J violently react. It's as if they are toxic for him. But we probably will try the remaining few, available in the UK, the "dex" amphetamines. Putting an 8 year old on amphetamines! It's crazy isn't it....</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 636600, member: 11227"] Thanks for all your interesting thoughts. Well, the fact that your grandson is an amazing reader differentiates him from J right away, HMBgal! J HATES reading and writing and doesn't do either to speak of. Because I have until this point concentrated on him acquiring languages - he is trilingual, which is an important part of who he is and, I would say, of his self-esteem because people eveywhere are so impressed by it - he has not had much consistent specialist help with his dyslexia. We have moved country too much. He is bright and curious and people would say intelligent but his most obvious "talent" is actually practical - seeing the practical solution to something, or repairing things, which he seems gifted at. He doesn't "cycle" that I've notitced but I do keep getting lulled into a false sense of security, because at times he can seem basically fine, if always larger than life, and then suddenly, bam.... a huge temper tantrum or bout of opposition will descend seemingly out of the skies. As for neuro-psychiatric evaluations, he had a thorough one when he was six, in France. Pointed to severe ADHD (neuro-psychs in France cannot formally diagnose ADHD but their tests can reveal it, showed a biggish discrepancy in IQ (as is typical) using the WISC IV, highlighted visual-spatial problems. The trouble with doing one in the States, say, is that it would be "corrupted" by his lower level of English - though he is fluent in English and it's the language he and I speak together, it is his "least good" language and he does not write it all. Of course this will change if he goes to school in UK. I had no idea pre-birth alcohol exposure could be identified by a neuro-psychiatric evaluation, is that true?? Of course, MWM, if I could know anything about his birth parents, I would have insisted on knowing about it by now. There is nothing to be known. An unknown woman, presenting no identity documents, went into hospital just before giving birth to him and then disappeared, leaving J behind.... That's it. As for "something else" going on other than ADHD, I feel we are slightly misrepresenting what ADHD is... it is not just a few gentle concentration problems in the classroom. According to Russell Barkley, the "ADHD man", at its BASIS is a problem of self-regulation, of emotional self-control. And the opposition develops/is exacerbated by the way in which the child is treated, being so often criticised, punished, rejected for behaviour that they cannot essentially control. In J's case, however, there IS some level of attachment problem and he has long been particularly difficult, rude, defiant with me above all. He needs stability, I think, fixed routine and he needs people who will, yes, give him a chance and see his potential. I really don't think J is autistic but he shares some autistic traits - finds change/transition very difficult, real sensory over-sensitivity, etc. It just catches me blindsided. He can be so sweet, funny, affectionate.... he'll be going on like this, basically co-operating and clearly trying to be good and then, as I say, Mr Jekyll will suddenly appear, frothing at the mouth and intent on making life hell for all around... usually linked to him not having something he wants. He can call me the most disgusting names under the sun, try to kick and hit me, throw toys around. He just will not give up... It's like a much, much younger child... a two-year old... he still sucks his thumb and has a security blanket, at nearly eight. Stopped wetting the bed at night about a year ago, hurray, and in other ways is very "street smart" and independent. I see him in groups... he is fairly social, outgoing and friendly but he never wants to do what the group is doing, never wants to submit to the "group experience" but wants to do things his own way. And that's really the basie of what is "wrong" with J. He cannot accept not having things his way. I really sympathise with the medications problems, HMBgal. Maybe your grandson got to be able intellectually because of the medications? We had to try them but I have lost all hope, really, that there's a medication that won't make J violently react. It's as if they are toxic for him. But we probably will try the remaining few, available in the UK, the "dex" amphetamines. Putting an 8 year old on amphetamines! It's crazy isn't it.... [/QUOTE]
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