Nonni Needs Help!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Mrshonesty, Oct 17, 2008.

  1. Mrshonesty

    Mrshonesty Nonni trying hard here!

    Hi all, a newbie here! I am a grandmother of 6 beautiful children from my 3 children. My son is a single father with custody. He is in the Navy and the nanny he had left just before he went to sea and school started. Instead of him hiring a new nanny (that we didn't know) while he was out to sea, we suggested that he move closer to us (45 miles from where he was stationed) so that we could help him with the children. We then decided that he could move in with us while he was out to sea so that he could save some money and that we would let the childrens mother come down and stay and help. These 3 children were pretty good kids with minor exceptions (of course the youngest (5) had a personality of her own). When they moved in and Dad left and their Mother came to help they turned into "I don't know what". I had NEVER seen my grandchildren like this. They were angry, mean, aggressive, would not listen, my grandson (7) even hit me. (he used to be the sweetest child). We started therapy for them and between that, their mom went home and dad is back. They are doing much better but still some problems with school work, behavior in school for grandson, etc. BUT, then there is the youngest! She is "The little girl with the curl, right in the middle of her forehead! When she is good she is very very good, BUT when she is bad, she is HORRID". She is night and day. We always knew she was very difiant, etc. If you say yes, she says no. If you want her to where the red dress, she will want something else. If she says she wants something in a store and you tell her if she behaves while you are in the store you will buy it for her then she says she doesn't want it anymore. We warned the school of her but when she started school (kindergarden - she never went to pre-k) she was doing really well at first. Then she reared her ugly head! The school couldn't believe it! Of course she comes home telling us she did good in school. She can turn on and off in seconds. I have been able to handle some of it now that I deal with it as a princess/witch. When she is the Princess we like her and love her and her sugar is sweet. When she is the witch we love her but we don't like her and her sugar is sour. We tell her to come back when she lets the princess back. It seems to work for a lot of things. We remind her that she has to be the princess at school and when we make a thing about that it seems to help. From everything I am reading, I believe we have an explosive child/ODD. I am hoping that my husband and my son will help me deal with her this way. I need to find some other support though. Any help would greatly be appreciated. Thanks in advance. :faint:
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi. Welcome to the board. You may want to to a signature like I did on the bottom of the page. That would help us. Now I'm going to ask some questions that will help us help you. Perhaps you want to answer the questions about any of the kids you are having trouble with. Sounds like the seven year old may also have issues.

    1/Has this child (or any of the children) ever been evaluated by a neuropsychologist? This is an intensive evaluation that looks for everything--all childhood disorders. ODD rarely, if ever, stands alone. Most of the time it goes along with other things.

    2/Do you have any psychiatric problems or substance abuse on either side of the family tree (mom/dad/extended relatives on both sides)

    3/Did any of the kids have developmental differences: speech, eye contact problems, didn't like to cuddle, not able to interact normally with peers, unable to play with toys or playing with toys in strange ways, any quirks or obsessions, trouble transitioning from one activity to another, any general "cluelessness?" On the other hand are any very precicious, almost like "Little Professors" when they speak, but unable to relate to their peers?

    Do these kids get moved around a lot? Are they now going to stay in one place? Do you know if any of them have ever been, say, maybe abused by one of moms boyfriends?

    Others will come along.
  3. overwhelmedmama

    overwhelmedmama New Member

    I have never done this before, so I'm not even sure I'm in the right "box." I just found this site today and joined almost immediately. I really thought I was the only one facing all this. However, I can't find directions on how to introduce myself or include the signature. I thank you in advance for helping out getting me started so I can do this the right way!
  4. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    Hi overwhelmedmama,
    When you find what you need, please go ahead and start a new thread to introduce yourself to us.

    Last edited: Oct 18, 2008