Steely, I guess it's my own assessment, but in my opinion should be stated in that manner in the books and articles.
The criteria focus on "lack of social skills". And every Aspie and spectrum (and suspected spectrum) person I know LACKS appropriate social skills. HOWEVER not all of them are loners, and certainly not 100% of the time. My Dad actively invites ppl to his house. He sets them up with his home movies then goes and reads the newspaper. He actually seeks out social situations (parties, fundraisers, concerts, galas) but rare to see him in conversation. He's always behind a camera. Occasionally you'll see him chatting when the topic interests HIM. The second the topic changes, he goes off to hide behind the camera.
Son always sought out friends, but never seemed to play appropriately. At about 3rd grade, he'd invite friends over and instead of a simple hello, he'd stomp around the house like a dinosaur - for half an hour. Eventually I'd get him engaging with the friend HE invited over.
Boy we met this past summer WANTED to join in the Jr counselor program (for the kids 12 and over at a family camp). I don't know the details, but his parents told me it was a disaster. The counselors finally put him to good use running messages between the groups so he felt needed and helpful. On the second or third day son and he "found" each other and spent their afternoons together discussing computers while walking around the main building, REPEATEDLY. Hey, they got their exercise, but it looked 'odd' to those that don't have first hand knowledge of Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD).
Susie's post about the eye contact is a perfect example. GENERALLY poor eye contact is a flag for Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). However, Wiz displayed inappropriate eye contact = poor/lack of social skills.
I think ppl on the spectrum eventually learn their limitations and then withdraw socially accordingly. That's not exactly how they want it, but it's better than the constant struggle to get the social stuff "right"
Pepperidge, lack of social skills is a symptom of several disorders, and yes it does make a difference as far as interventions go - just like with ODD. If two different neuropsychs say no, I'd be comfortable with that. However regardless of what's driving the lack of social skills, it should be addressed to each child's 'sociability desire' level. If they want to be computer programmers or novelists, not so important. If they want to be administrative assistants or realtors, then they have to put in the work on social appropriateness.