I have a 5 year old daughter, who is an only child, who will be going to kindergarten in the fall. She has been attending full time daycare since she was 4 months old - So lots of socialization and her daycare teachers and other students are like family to her. When she's in a good mood she is a bright (I've had more than one teacher at school call her "super smart" and usually in the top two of her class), focused (playing board games since she was two and can play the same game over and over again for an hour if allowed) and helpful. But then there are her bad moods and meltdowns. She is a very intense child and when she has her mind made up there is no changing it. So many people have told me to stay consistent and don't give in and she will eventual break down. HA!! Not my daughter - she will scream herself to sleep before she gives in. Example of a normal situation with my daughter: My best friend (one of the biggest advocates of not giving in) babysat my daughter overnight this weekend. I guess she felt the need to prove her point and made Elisabeth sit at the table until she ate her zucchini (Elisabeth never had it before) and the rest of her dinner - apparently they put her to bed at 9:30 directly from sitting at the table. When I picked her up the next morning, Elisabeth ran right to me cling for all it's worth. And I was informed that I have "the most stubborn child" she had ever met. I was like - tell me something I don't know. (And I felt a little validated after all these years). It's like Elisabeth goes over a mountain - once she's hit the peak, there is no coming back from a meltdown. It pains me to say it, but it's like she reverts to a feral animal. 1) She doesn't go on the offense (what I would consider - biting others, hitting other's, obscenities) she goes on what I consider the defensive (no eye contact, no answering questions, no big girl words, sometimes just grunts, scrambling to get out of your arms, hides her face in the couch cushions) 2) Like I mentioned in #1 - once she's over the edge - limited communication - no eye contact - there is no talking her down until she's ready. 3) Regular time outs, taking away toys or privileges, or spankings do not work in the least. 4) I have had limited success with lap time outs including counting and deep breathing. Sometimes they work, but afterwards - if I still need her to do what caused the issue (brush her teeth or stay in bed) it starts all over again. 5) She never seems to learn her lessons either - it's always the same thing over and over. I definitely pick my battles. The battles I pick are what I consider being part of being a big girl/family rules - brushing her teeth, eating the dinner that is served to her, no major bad attitude, staying in bed. I know you'll ask about other issues Elisabeth may have. 1) I think she has a problem with anxiety. While she is social and happy at school and home, she doesn't talk to people she doesn't know well. She's always been one slow to warm up. I don't think she's ever voluntarily spoken to her doctor or dentist. She is also a lip biter - to the point where she leaves bruises and chapping under her lower lip. 2) Speech delay - I think this might be a possibility, but not exactly sure - we can't get her to talk to the doctor (see above), so it hasn't come up. She does still have a thing with using some baby words (especially when she's upset). Also she has a bit of an issue wrapping her mind around something she's trying to say (she can't "spit it out"). When I try to have serious conversations with her, it seems she can't/won't answer questions posed to her (lots of shoulder shrugging/ I don't know). But it's never come up as a issue at school. 3) Elisabeth was finally offically diagnosed with Asthma when she was three (though she had it all along). We need to get her in to test for allergies. 4) She seems sensitive to sounds (can't deal with the vacuum - runs to other rooms) and tastes (picky eater, took a year to find toothpaste she could deal with). As for family history - both myself and my father have been treated with medicine for depression in the past. And though nothing official - I have my own anxiety issues. I firmly believe that my mom might be something a kin to bi polar - but she's under the assumption that there is something wrong with the rest of the word - not her. I really don't want to label her, but she's been like this since she was an infant (at 11 months it took 2 or 3 people to change her diaper when she didn't want to lie down). I used to joke that Elisabeth started her terrible twos at 11 months and never grew out of it. But in reality I know this is her personality. I worried about the transition to the new school and kindergarten - what if she refuses to talk to her teacher? We've decided to keep sending her to her daycare center for afterschool to help the transition. But I'm still worried that the transition will only intensify her issues. Any advice? How can i convince the doctor that this is not normal (if it is not?) We're on a HMO so all referrals need to come from him.