I am having a hard time understanding my mom. You meet her and she is the most vivacious 68 yo one could meet. She looks and acts, maybe 58. She works out every day, is healthy beyond healthy, type A personality, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), and unbelievably loving, to a point. Here is the thing I am having a hard time wrapping my brain around. Her Mom died 4 years ago. My Mom didn't cry or seem to grieve. OK. I can see that, they did not have the best relationship, and her Mom was like 98. It was time. My sister died 6 months later. Again, my Mom didn't cry, at all. I am the one at the memorial sobbing, and my parents are dry faced. OK. You don't have to cry at the memorial to be sad - I get it. But she has never cried over H. She just kept living, and didn't seem to miss a beat. She was a little sad, but barely noticeable. Again, H and her did not have the best relationship - so I thought maybe the fact that H. had been so distant from her for such a long time that possibly my mom already grieved. She even mentions how weird it is that she has never cried over her mom or H. So now my Dad has passed and it is the same thing. They were married 45 years. She cried some when he died, and when we were closing down the house. But she has not gone into any sort of grieving - in fact the opposite. She told me the other night she was so happy that she could garden all she wanted and my Dad did not tell her to come in for dinner - and that she could not eat dinner anytime!! She evidently likes the freedom - which I can understand, because my Dad was controlling and pretty much a butt in my opinion - but still. I am so confused. I miss him even though he was a butt. I cry/cried. I miss the piece inside my soul that he filled. Just like H. I really am grieving - and when I say to my mom - wow I miss Dad right now - she will say something off putting - like oh well we can do it ourselves or something like that. So - is it me that is too emotional??? Probably. Yet, on the other hand, I don't understand, at all, how she can be SO removed from her feelings. Everyone who meets her goes on and on about how sweet and nice she is - so she is not a "cold" person - yet she seems unshakeable. As if she has no feelings or emotions. I guess I only ask this because it is just her and I now - and I feel like the one that now is the only one shouldering grief. Maybe in some weird way I feel like I have to take hers too - because she is so vapid??? I mean - I feel stupid now to even mention that I miss H or Dad to her....which is weird. So - I don't know. Advice? Or am I just being too emotional??