Not a full blown crisis but could use some juju/prayers or ?? whatever...

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by DDD, Jan 6, 2013.

  1. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Turns out that house we contracted for in November with a closing on December 28th is causing problems. Turns out that it is a short sale. Turns out that the listing agent "can not" get Bank of America to actually send the acceptance with a signed contract...just notification that the offer has been accepted. SIGH! easy child/difficult child (aka difficult child#1) has really done a great job of being patient. "Patience" is not what ADHD and Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) people thrive on. Groan. I am neither of those things plus a retired Realtor and I am "antsy".

    So, guys, here is where I need support. I am the "representative payee" for his disability income. He has been amazingly good about me having control. on the other hand he is flat out sick of driving a very worn out F150 that husband and I own and so........yikes!......he has been looking for a Chrysler 300 that he can buy.I have done ALL my tricks. Tomorrow he heads to So. Fl. to look at four cars that he can afford. I love this "son of a gun" with my whole heart. I "know" that he is going nuts with no house and no car. I am so blankin nervous about tomorrow.

    He was eager for me to spend the day with him and his girlfriend "checking out the cars" but I honestly don't feel well this week. He has asked GFGmom to drive him South. OMG...yeah, I know I am being dramatic :) but literally my belly is churning. I am so torn between letting him make a decision as "an adult" and hesitant because I know his weaknesses. I actually had to tell him "Son if you make a poor choice I will resign as your representative payee because you may end up with-o a house and that would break my heart". Eh Gods. That doesn't even "sound" healthy to me.

    Could you guys who "know" him send support that he doesn't buy something that jeopardizes his security via home ownership. Yikes. I can't describe how nervous I am. Thanks. DDD
  2. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    DDD, I know that 'churning' and I'm sorry you're experiencing that. Gentle hugs for you and prayers, ju ju, all my good vibes that he makes a healthy, good choice which you would be proud of him for.........................:fingerscrossed:
  3. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Here's to hoping he makes the right choices!
  4. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Wow, DDD. I thought he would be fine until I got to the part that said GFGmom would be in the picture. Now I understand why you are worried. However, the girlfriend, despite her flaws, seems to be pretty level-headed. Hopefully she wants that house and will help your difficult child make a good choice.

    In the meantime, I am keeping a good thought and crossing my fingers that everything turns out fine. Oh, and I hope you start feeling better!

  5. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Boy DDD do I understand. I would be just as worried if my difficult child were looking at cars and have the same concerns that she may not make the best choice. I'm sending all my good thoughts that he makes the best choice. Do you know about any of the vehicles and can you steer him in a certain direction?

    Crossing all body parts!
  6. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Crossing everything.....sorry for your stress!
  7. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    First and foremost - you got it. Anything you want. Prayers, juju, pretzeling, candle lighting...anything I can do for you... {{{hugs}}}

    And second, you have my shoulder to lean upon and I get "it" - the trepidation, the churning feeling...and the reality that you know it's the wrong decision for him and the impossibility of actually getting that thru to him!

    thinking of you and hoping your words to him sink in...XO
  8. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry for the house delay and the added stress of "car fever" that son is going through. I'm esp. sorry you're feeling a bit poorly this week. Saying prayers all these things will be resolved in your favor, and soon!
  9. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    DDD, I have been in somewhat this situation with Cory. He hasnt ever received a large enough sum where a house was on the line but several times they messed up his check and he ended up with a back pay amount that was a couple of thousand bucks. I was always sitting there with my stomach in knots because he never had the forethought to make a good decision about what to do with the money. He actually could have bought an old used mobile home and put it on our land at one time but blew the money on other things. He once bought a car because it was red and had pretty rims! Ugh. The car barely ran.
  10. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    You got it! Sending all the support I have that easy child/difficult child will be able to make a wise decision re car buying.

    I sure hope you feel better...God forbid you're catching this Flu. It is pretty scary stuff. But if you do think you might be please go get that Tamiflu will lessen the effects and shorten the duration of illness.

    Hang in there,
  11. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    h my, such stress. Holding good thoughts that difficult child finds a really good truck for a really good price. Have to say with all the Sandy damaged cars and trucks out there, this is not a good time to be looking for used vehicles. I wish he could afford new. He should definately have a trusted mechanic look at it before he buys. I'm praying he is level headed and wise in his quest. -RM
  12. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Hmmmmmmm.....GFGmom told me "he found a car, they are repairing a few things and then I'm griving him back South to pick it up in a few days." YIKES!

    Oh well, such is life. If he has made a bad choice it is HIS choice. If he spent too much money then it is HE who will live in a small condo or single wide. I know with my whole heart that he WANTS to be mature and wise and make the best choices. I'm "mostly" detached and although I hope it is not another bitter lesson, sigh, it will be his bitter lesson.

    Guess it's a good thing we have spent all our money riaising him and all the other children. I can't save him even if I wanted to. As they say in South Florida "Asi es la vida!" OR, as we say in this rural area "Life's an Itch! DDD:916blusher:
  13. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    He "found" a car...sigh. It's three counties away and not at a dealership...sigh. He has car fever. Finally I told him today "Son, IF you are positive that you need this car them please remember that you will not be able to afford a single family home. You can buy a condo or a small house with-o a garage so you won't be homeless BUT you can not afford a nice house and a nice car. Your choice." Yikes. Yeah, I'm repeating the Serenity Prayer for the millionth time. If I were a gambler.......I'd say he's getting a car this week and furthermore the car is not 100% Sigh DDD