S
Signorina
Guest
Not a good week. No news to report and that's my problem.
He called about 2-1/2 weeks ago after he spoke to my brother. My brother has been staying in sporadic touch w him and urged him to call me. And he did. It was really nice to hear his voice. We had a light 40 minute conversation-it was pleasant-we touched briefly on his classes and his job but didn't get too deep. I asked him if he was coming home for T Giving and he seemed surprised I asked & said yes. I asked him if he was planning to stay here and he answered yes. Which was a relief. I reminded him that he needed to follow up with his eye dr for his 1 year appointment and told him I would send him the copay. ( he almost lost the sight in 1 eye last year due to injury) As the call wound down, I asked him if he would call me again and he said yes, I asked when? He said a week. I felt a great sense of peace that he seemed ok. Maybe not too far lost. I sent the copay check that day and a few days later I put together a care pkg of staples & sent it to him with a short note-hope you enjoy this, love mom. No treats or home baked goodies-just a few basics like vitamins, pb, oatmeal, tuna. The week went by w no call. He sent a text when he got the pkg with a short "thanks for the package mom" Like a fool, I sent back a text stating-"glad you got it. I miss you & hate the distance btwn us. I love you". I never heard back from him.
By Wed, it was 2 weeks since the phone call, 5 days since I sent the text. By Thursday I was losing it. Just crying. His girlfriend is posting on fb about the house they rented for next year, about how much she was looking forward to seeing her parents for parents weekend etc. (and my sister in law is give her positive comments about all of it which is a whole other story) I think part of me hoped difficult child would ask us to come up for parents weekend. Stupid, I know.
I am ashamed to admit that pc14 saw me crying on Thursday eve & asked why. I told him that I was missing difficult child and that I hadn't heard from him. About 20 minutes later, difficult child sent me a text. "Goodnight Mom, have a good weekend." I replied "Goodnight, I love you", he replied "I love you too." Yes, pc14 sent difficult child a text stating "please get on touch with mom-she needs to hear from you." Pathetic and not healthy for a 14 yo to feel the need to intervene.
You all post about your difficult children wanting back in your lives and your homes. My difficult child just wants OUT and he hasn't looked back. We were so close and I can't believe he walked away so easily. It's been 2 months since I've seen him, I've only spoken to him twice in that time. He hasn't initiated any communication on his own. I've tried to leave the door open a bit as to not estrange him completely and give him a way back in but he doesn't care. He is having a ball. His girlfriend and likely her parents are enabling him. It's parents weekend and we're not there. I miss my son. The bright eyed, loving 18 yo who started uni last year w big plans and a bright future (and who txtd his mom every night) is gone. This hurts way too much.
My h is getting fed up w my sadness. My f'ing sister in law (my others brother's wife) has decided to become my difficult children girlfriend's biggest fan on FB despite me begging her to cool it and let things lie.(and I have no idea why my 50 yo sister in law is her fb friend. They've met 4 or 5 times) I want to SCREAM. I just want my happy family back.
I do have a therapist appointment on Monday-my first. I made it two weeks ago thinking that my emotions had calmed down enough so that the session could be about parenting strategy. I am seeing the therapist who treated difficult child as a 16 yo. Boy is Dr. M in for a surprise-I am a basket case.
Sorry this is so long . It's now 5 am and these thoughts have kept me awake since 3:00
He called about 2-1/2 weeks ago after he spoke to my brother. My brother has been staying in sporadic touch w him and urged him to call me. And he did. It was really nice to hear his voice. We had a light 40 minute conversation-it was pleasant-we touched briefly on his classes and his job but didn't get too deep. I asked him if he was coming home for T Giving and he seemed surprised I asked & said yes. I asked him if he was planning to stay here and he answered yes. Which was a relief. I reminded him that he needed to follow up with his eye dr for his 1 year appointment and told him I would send him the copay. ( he almost lost the sight in 1 eye last year due to injury) As the call wound down, I asked him if he would call me again and he said yes, I asked when? He said a week. I felt a great sense of peace that he seemed ok. Maybe not too far lost. I sent the copay check that day and a few days later I put together a care pkg of staples & sent it to him with a short note-hope you enjoy this, love mom. No treats or home baked goodies-just a few basics like vitamins, pb, oatmeal, tuna. The week went by w no call. He sent a text when he got the pkg with a short "thanks for the package mom" Like a fool, I sent back a text stating-"glad you got it. I miss you & hate the distance btwn us. I love you". I never heard back from him.
By Wed, it was 2 weeks since the phone call, 5 days since I sent the text. By Thursday I was losing it. Just crying. His girlfriend is posting on fb about the house they rented for next year, about how much she was looking forward to seeing her parents for parents weekend etc. (and my sister in law is give her positive comments about all of it which is a whole other story) I think part of me hoped difficult child would ask us to come up for parents weekend. Stupid, I know.
I am ashamed to admit that pc14 saw me crying on Thursday eve & asked why. I told him that I was missing difficult child and that I hadn't heard from him. About 20 minutes later, difficult child sent me a text. "Goodnight Mom, have a good weekend." I replied "Goodnight, I love you", he replied "I love you too." Yes, pc14 sent difficult child a text stating "please get on touch with mom-she needs to hear from you." Pathetic and not healthy for a 14 yo to feel the need to intervene.
You all post about your difficult children wanting back in your lives and your homes. My difficult child just wants OUT and he hasn't looked back. We were so close and I can't believe he walked away so easily. It's been 2 months since I've seen him, I've only spoken to him twice in that time. He hasn't initiated any communication on his own. I've tried to leave the door open a bit as to not estrange him completely and give him a way back in but he doesn't care. He is having a ball. His girlfriend and likely her parents are enabling him. It's parents weekend and we're not there. I miss my son. The bright eyed, loving 18 yo who started uni last year w big plans and a bright future (and who txtd his mom every night) is gone. This hurts way too much.
My h is getting fed up w my sadness. My f'ing sister in law (my others brother's wife) has decided to become my difficult children girlfriend's biggest fan on FB despite me begging her to cool it and let things lie.(and I have no idea why my 50 yo sister in law is her fb friend. They've met 4 or 5 times) I want to SCREAM. I just want my happy family back.
I do have a therapist appointment on Monday-my first. I made it two weeks ago thinking that my emotions had calmed down enough so that the session could be about parenting strategy. I am seeing the therapist who treated difficult child as a 16 yo. Boy is Dr. M in for a surprise-I am a basket case.
Sorry this is so long . It's now 5 am and these thoughts have kept me awake since 3:00