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Not Even a Phone Call
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<blockquote data-quote="mom_in_training" data-source="post: 69147" data-attributes="member: 2727"><p>Detach, Detach, Detach!!! I personally like many others here know how excruciating it can be. My difficult child was gone for about two months. Yes, I too checked her myspace. The only calls I got was within the last week that she was living on the streets when she decided that she wanted to come back home if I would let her. It was horrible because I would be driving her brother to school and every once in a while I would see her walking down the street when she was in our area but I never stopped, never waved, Just kept going as if I did not see her and I could tell she was ampted on drugs. God, It was awefull and heartwrenching but I stood strong and kept going. I am an avid believer in tough love and knew that it would not be wise to hunt her down nor try to grab her up and save her. I had already tried all that I could to get her the appropriate help but she was not a willing participant and we all know it takes a willing participant for any treatment to work at all and that still comes with no guarantees. She was in my thoughts 24/7 until the day that I realized that I could no longer allow her antics to take me over anymore. Just the stress alone can do damage to ones health and ability to function daily. Although difficult I finally mastered detaching and went on with life and waited for her to hit rock bottom. While waiting I contacted the local police dept to let them know that she was on the streets and also told them of her drug use and known places that she was hanging out at as well as the local park that she would sleep in at night. Yikes!!!. I guess it was my way of trying to speed up her rock bottom knowing that all of the police officers knew her (She was a police explorer gone bad). I was somewhat comforted with the fact that they knew she was out there and that they would be keeping an eye out for her. </p><p></p><p>Just my opinion but I would avoid others that keep reminding you of the what ifs. Its not like you don't already have all of those fears in your head and you do not need to be constantly reminded. And you certainly don't need to feel guilt over anything that is beyond your control. I had others telling me "I can't believe you let your difficult child just walk out on ya" Well geeze what am I supposed to do, I suppose I could have tackled her to restrain her but in reality what would that solve, It would have just esculated things and its not like I could hand cuff her either although I would have liked to. I guess what I am trying to say is that you can not hold yourself personally responsible for your difficult children bad choices and don't let others tell you any different or put a guilt trip on you. You have to wonder why some people get so wrapped up in blaming others for somebody elses bad behavior or choices in life. Do they ever think that the person making the bad choices should be taking responsibilty for their own actions. Hmm, Just a thought. I am hoping that You and your husband can find some very much needed comfort. Your family is in my prayers.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mom_in_training, post: 69147, member: 2727"] Detach, Detach, Detach!!! I personally like many others here know how excruciating it can be. My difficult child was gone for about two months. Yes, I too checked her myspace. The only calls I got was within the last week that she was living on the streets when she decided that she wanted to come back home if I would let her. It was horrible because I would be driving her brother to school and every once in a while I would see her walking down the street when she was in our area but I never stopped, never waved, Just kept going as if I did not see her and I could tell she was ampted on drugs. God, It was awefull and heartwrenching but I stood strong and kept going. I am an avid believer in tough love and knew that it would not be wise to hunt her down nor try to grab her up and save her. I had already tried all that I could to get her the appropriate help but she was not a willing participant and we all know it takes a willing participant for any treatment to work at all and that still comes with no guarantees. She was in my thoughts 24/7 until the day that I realized that I could no longer allow her antics to take me over anymore. Just the stress alone can do damage to ones health and ability to function daily. Although difficult I finally mastered detaching and went on with life and waited for her to hit rock bottom. While waiting I contacted the local police dept to let them know that she was on the streets and also told them of her drug use and known places that she was hanging out at as well as the local park that she would sleep in at night. Yikes!!!. I guess it was my way of trying to speed up her rock bottom knowing that all of the police officers knew her (She was a police explorer gone bad). I was somewhat comforted with the fact that they knew she was out there and that they would be keeping an eye out for her. Just my opinion but I would avoid others that keep reminding you of the what ifs. Its not like you don't already have all of those fears in your head and you do not need to be constantly reminded. And you certainly don't need to feel guilt over anything that is beyond your control. I had others telling me "I can't believe you let your difficult child just walk out on ya" Well geeze what am I supposed to do, I suppose I could have tackled her to restrain her but in reality what would that solve, It would have just esculated things and its not like I could hand cuff her either although I would have liked to. I guess what I am trying to say is that you can not hold yourself personally responsible for your difficult children bad choices and don't let others tell you any different or put a guilt trip on you. You have to wonder why some people get so wrapped up in blaming others for somebody elses bad behavior or choices in life. Do they ever think that the person making the bad choices should be taking responsibilty for their own actions. Hmm, Just a thought. I am hoping that You and your husband can find some very much needed comfort. Your family is in my prayers. [/QUOTE]
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