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Parent Emeritus
Not her parent, but still need help
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<blockquote data-quote="silverlilly1" data-source="post: 631267" data-attributes="member: 18194"><p>I wish it were that simple. Unfortunately she normally lives 2700 km from here. She only has her sort-of-boyfriend of one month to stay with around here, or our dad, whom she would not ask to spend the summer with and has only visited three times. Our dad's girlfriend doesn't like him spending much time with his family. She has nowhere to stay back home until September. Under these circumstances, asking her to leave now doesn't seem fair to her. We made a commitment to allow her to stay for that time, and asking her to leave permanently early would cause her enormous hardship.</p><p></p><p>We asked her to contribute financially as much as she directly impacts the household, babysit one evening a week, and do one chore (which she chose). I don't think that is trying to parent, just asking her to contribute to the house she is living in. And the rules around guys being here are related to us protecting our house (not wanting people in our house whom we don't know at all when we're not around) and young daughter, nothing about controlling her behaviour. If we weren't together, we individually wouldn't want to bring anyone but long-term partners around our daughter because she becomes attached to people so easily at this age.</p><p></p><p>Unfortunately my sister's attitude is rubbing off on our daughter a little bit.</p><p></p><p>I know I can't fix her, but I need to do what I can to make the living situation bearable for everyone, since I can't rely on her to try to make the situation better.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="silverlilly1, post: 631267, member: 18194"] I wish it were that simple. Unfortunately she normally lives 2700 km from here. She only has her sort-of-boyfriend of one month to stay with around here, or our dad, whom she would not ask to spend the summer with and has only visited three times. Our dad's girlfriend doesn't like him spending much time with his family. She has nowhere to stay back home until September. Under these circumstances, asking her to leave now doesn't seem fair to her. We made a commitment to allow her to stay for that time, and asking her to leave permanently early would cause her enormous hardship. We asked her to contribute financially as much as she directly impacts the household, babysit one evening a week, and do one chore (which she chose). I don't think that is trying to parent, just asking her to contribute to the house she is living in. And the rules around guys being here are related to us protecting our house (not wanting people in our house whom we don't know at all when we're not around) and young daughter, nothing about controlling her behaviour. If we weren't together, we individually wouldn't want to bring anyone but long-term partners around our daughter because she becomes attached to people so easily at this age. Unfortunately my sister's attitude is rubbing off on our daughter a little bit. I know I can't fix her, but I need to do what I can to make the living situation bearable for everyone, since I can't rely on her to try to make the situation better. [/QUOTE]
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