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Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Not her parent, but still need help
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<blockquote data-quote="dstc_99" data-source="post: 631319" data-attributes="member: 15473"><p>I hear you and your husband stressing out over her issues. I don't hear her stressing. This is what we call enabling. When you are working harder than her to make things better for her it makes your life miserable and you feel unnapreciated. I agree with the above post that you need to stop doing it and stop putting up with it.</p><p> </p><p>I realize you don't want her to leave but at the same time you shouldn't continue the way things are. You tell her your plans and expectations and let her know if she wants to do something different she is an adult and can make the arrangements.</p><p> </p><p>She really needs to grow up. The best thing you can do is be a positive role model for her. Show her how to act and behave and hope that she will learn something about how an adult lives. Stand up for yourself and stick to the guidelines. That is what healthy adults do. They stay healthy by not letting others treat them poorly and cause them trauma. Your sister needs a strong, healthy, patient role model who can show her how normal life is and give her a steady person to emulate.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dstc_99, post: 631319, member: 15473"] I hear you and your husband stressing out over her issues. I don't hear her stressing. This is what we call enabling. When you are working harder than her to make things better for her it makes your life miserable and you feel unnapreciated. I agree with the above post that you need to stop doing it and stop putting up with it. I realize you don't want her to leave but at the same time you shouldn't continue the way things are. You tell her your plans and expectations and let her know if she wants to do something different she is an adult and can make the arrangements. She really needs to grow up. The best thing you can do is be a positive role model for her. Show her how to act and behave and hope that she will learn something about how an adult lives. Stand up for yourself and stick to the guidelines. That is what healthy adults do. They stay healthy by not letting others treat them poorly and cause them trauma. Your sister needs a strong, healthy, patient role model who can show her how normal life is and give her a steady person to emulate. [/QUOTE]
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