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General Parenting
Not impossible on Purpose?
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<blockquote data-quote="Allan-Matlem" data-source="post: 41913" data-attributes="member: 10"><p>Hi,</p><p>If I asked you to have a meltdown , it would be pretty impossible unless you were very angry, frustrated or had your buttons pushed. Your kid managed to access the fact that her G-mom was around , hold the emotional rush for a moment, and then let go. Even if we assume that there was some choice involved and the kid believes that this will further her cause, like the parent who is threatening, yelling , screaming at her kids , it is not really choosing , it is poor coping skills. It is the only way the parent knows , it is the only way the child knows and the child is also likely to lack those cognitive skills to deal with frustration. The same parent holds it in at work but when she comes home , she flips out with her kids. The parent needs guidance, skills training and empathy , so with the kid.</p><p>Many kids manage to hold it in outside the home. This has lead to a conclusion amongst therapists that parenting is the problem , not that the child has difficulties and call for tougher , more contigent behavior modification. The view of your child will determine your strategies</p><p></p><p>Allan</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Allan-Matlem, post: 41913, member: 10"] Hi, If I asked you to have a meltdown , it would be pretty impossible unless you were very angry, frustrated or had your buttons pushed. Your kid managed to access the fact that her G-mom was around , hold the emotional rush for a moment, and then let go. Even if we assume that there was some choice involved and the kid believes that this will further her cause, like the parent who is threatening, yelling , screaming at her kids , it is not really choosing , it is poor coping skills. It is the only way the parent knows , it is the only way the child knows and the child is also likely to lack those cognitive skills to deal with frustration. The same parent holds it in at work but when she comes home , she flips out with her kids. The parent needs guidance, skills training and empathy , so with the kid. Many kids manage to hold it in outside the home. This has lead to a conclusion amongst therapists that parenting is the problem , not that the child has difficulties and call for tougher , more contigent behavior modification. The view of your child will determine your strategies Allan [/QUOTE]
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