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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 629920" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>This is NOT your battle, this is not your responsibility. It is his. Refrain from doing anything and get yourself as much SUPPORT as you can. Your son has choices and only he can make them. If he makes a bad choice he will return to jail. That will be the outcome, you have no control over that, you are powerless. </p><p></p><p>When we are hit with a sucker punch like this, usually we go into a scary, stuck, dark place where we don't know what to do. We allow our feelings of helplessness, fear and sadness to take over and then we are immobilized. Don't go there. If you are already there, find a support group immediately, a 12 step group, someplace you can go to get a reality check so you can get back to reality. Reality is this: this is your son's life, it is up to him to make a good choice or not. There is nothing you can do but respond differently and take care of yourself. </p><p></p><p>There is a huge emphasis on taking care of YOU here, that is the key. Find support. Take some action for YOU, like go for a walk, talk to a friend, get a massage, take some action which will take your brain away from this place it is in now. </p><p></p><p>I know where you are now, most of us here do, it is a really awful place, but you have the power to change your perception, thereby your experience. Find a way to nurture and nourish yourself. YOU are the priority now. Your son is in his world. Stay in yours.</p><p></p><p>Sending hugs. And prayers for you and for your son.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 629920, member: 13542"] This is NOT your battle, this is not your responsibility. It is his. Refrain from doing anything and get yourself as much SUPPORT as you can. Your son has choices and only he can make them. If he makes a bad choice he will return to jail. That will be the outcome, you have no control over that, you are powerless. When we are hit with a sucker punch like this, usually we go into a scary, stuck, dark place where we don't know what to do. We allow our feelings of helplessness, fear and sadness to take over and then we are immobilized. Don't go there. If you are already there, find a support group immediately, a 12 step group, someplace you can go to get a reality check so you can get back to reality. Reality is this: this is your son's life, it is up to him to make a good choice or not. There is nothing you can do but respond differently and take care of yourself. There is a huge emphasis on taking care of YOU here, that is the key. Find support. Take some action for YOU, like go for a walk, talk to a friend, get a massage, take some action which will take your brain away from this place it is in now. I know where you are now, most of us here do, it is a really awful place, but you have the power to change your perception, thereby your experience. Find a way to nurture and nourish yourself. YOU are the priority now. Your son is in his world. Stay in yours. Sending hugs. And prayers for you and for your son. [/QUOTE]
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