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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 678201" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Hi CB</p><p></p><p>I did not have time to read all of the replies but will chime in anyway. I am tired.</p><p></p><p>First, about the internet/phone. I agree with everybody else. Cut off her phone. There is an easy way to use your cell phone as a mobile hot spot. (Except I am not a techie but everybody under 35 must know.) Not all of them do it, but most. So that would cut out her phone and the house internet. As far as cable a lot of people are cutting the cord. I am too. I got satellite radio so that I can listen to my cable news like CNN. I am an addict. But listening is as good as watching for me. EVERYTHING ELSE ON TV IS AVAILABLE ONLINE. We do not need cable anymore. It is a rip off. If you cut her phone, internet and cable, you are half way there to replacing the $450.</p><p></p><p>You cannot be held hostage by her. It is not good for you and not good for her. You have enough stress in your life. You do not deserve that.</p><p></p><p>Your daughter has several issues some of which seem to be of land standing. Importantly, quite diminished motivation. This can be a symptom of mental illness. And not easily surmounted.</p><p></p><p>What about applying for SSI for her? That way, it may not help your financial situation but it will give you some leverage. She should be contributing to the household. Why not?</p><p>She is acting like an adult here. With adult rights and privileges to call the shots. OK. Fine. Good. Let her take responsibility for herself too. It cannot be both. You take care of me, Mama, but I am the boss over me and over the house too. No way Jose.</p><p>We have already saved you $250 with her phone, cable and internet. We have now only to replace the other $200. Do you have a house phone, a landline? I do. There is no good reason except for pure laziness. I got it when my mother was alive and ill and I kept having to call the ambulance. I could not risk not having a landline. We are healthy. There is not a need. OK. That is another $30. How much more? $170.</p><p></p><p>All the junk food your daughter eats which is bad for her health. Cookie mixes. Gone. Chips. Gone. Pizza. Gone with the wind.</p><p></p><p>If she chooses to play with her own welfare and your own, she will have to pay with her little luxuries. Good nutritious food. That is all we need provide.</p><p></p><p>I went to the doctor today. I had been putting off bloodwork for 5 years because I knew my cholesterol would be high. Smart. Very smart.</p><p></p><p>This is how I need to change my diet: 5 veg daily. 2 fruits, 1 a banana. Barley or oatmeal every day. Fish. Less meat. A few nuts a day. Beans and Lentils. My Goodness. That is practically a complete diet. She will lose weight. We have chopped off another $250 off the food budget. We are making money here.</p><p>Because she eats poorly. Part of it. I have a bad stomach too. We cannot eat junk. Exercise helps too. If she complains about no food, tell her to go walk.</p><p></p><p>I do not mean to be mean here: She is acting like a little tyrant. You do not need this. Let me say it again. You are a wonderful person. You do not need this.</p><p>Absolutely this belongs on PE.</p><p></p><p>I am sure every other person has said this: No go. If she is under your roof. Your rules. Not hers.</p><p></p><p>Let me say it again: You are a wonderful person.</p><p></p><p>I suggest investigating SSI, and starting the application process. If she cannot go to school, it is unrealistic to believe she will be working sufficiently to support herself, at least in the short-term.</p><p></p><p>I would also check out the Department of Rehab. They can help with counseling, vocational counseling, job finding, job training, volunteer placement. They can buy tools, uniforms what ever might be required to work even part time, if she qualifies.</p><p></p><p>I would put pressure on her or this will continue and may worsen.</p><p></p><p>She cannot be the boss in your house. If she wants to be the boss of herself, without taking responsibility for herself, this is wrong too. If you stay here on PE, every step of the way, other parents who have been through this will support you.</p><p></p><p>I am so glad you posted. Take care. Do not worry. You will do this.</p><p></p><p>I have taken seriously every single word of your problem. Even though my response is lighthearted. We cannot cry all of the time.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 678201, member: 18958"] Hi CB I did not have time to read all of the replies but will chime in anyway. I am tired. First, about the internet/phone. I agree with everybody else. Cut off her phone. There is an easy way to use your cell phone as a mobile hot spot. (Except I am not a techie but everybody under 35 must know.) Not all of them do it, but most. So that would cut out her phone and the house internet. As far as cable a lot of people are cutting the cord. I am too. I got satellite radio so that I can listen to my cable news like CNN. I am an addict. But listening is as good as watching for me. EVERYTHING ELSE ON TV IS AVAILABLE ONLINE. We do not need cable anymore. It is a rip off. If you cut her phone, internet and cable, you are half way there to replacing the $450. You cannot be held hostage by her. It is not good for you and not good for her. You have enough stress in your life. You do not deserve that. Your daughter has several issues some of which seem to be of land standing. Importantly, quite diminished motivation. This can be a symptom of mental illness. And not easily surmounted. What about applying for SSI for her? That way, it may not help your financial situation but it will give you some leverage. She should be contributing to the household. Why not? She is acting like an adult here. With adult rights and privileges to call the shots. OK. Fine. Good. Let her take responsibility for herself too. It cannot be both. You take care of me, Mama, but I am the boss over me and over the house too. No way Jose. We have already saved you $250 with her phone, cable and internet. We have now only to replace the other $200. Do you have a house phone, a landline? I do. There is no good reason except for pure laziness. I got it when my mother was alive and ill and I kept having to call the ambulance. I could not risk not having a landline. We are healthy. There is not a need. OK. That is another $30. How much more? $170. All the junk food your daughter eats which is bad for her health. Cookie mixes. Gone. Chips. Gone. Pizza. Gone with the wind. If she chooses to play with her own welfare and your own, she will have to pay with her little luxuries. Good nutritious food. That is all we need provide. I went to the doctor today. I had been putting off bloodwork for 5 years because I knew my cholesterol would be high. Smart. Very smart. This is how I need to change my diet: 5 veg daily. 2 fruits, 1 a banana. Barley or oatmeal every day. Fish. Less meat. A few nuts a day. Beans and Lentils. My Goodness. That is practically a complete diet. She will lose weight. We have chopped off another $250 off the food budget. We are making money here. Because she eats poorly. Part of it. I have a bad stomach too. We cannot eat junk. Exercise helps too. If she complains about no food, tell her to go walk. I do not mean to be mean here: She is acting like a little tyrant. You do not need this. Let me say it again. You are a wonderful person. You do not need this. Absolutely this belongs on PE. I am sure every other person has said this: No go. If she is under your roof. Your rules. Not hers. Let me say it again: You are a wonderful person. I suggest investigating SSI, and starting the application process. If she cannot go to school, it is unrealistic to believe she will be working sufficiently to support herself, at least in the short-term. I would also check out the Department of Rehab. They can help with counseling, vocational counseling, job finding, job training, volunteer placement. They can buy tools, uniforms what ever might be required to work even part time, if she qualifies. I would put pressure on her or this will continue and may worsen. She cannot be the boss in your house. If she wants to be the boss of herself, without taking responsibility for herself, this is wrong too. If you stay here on PE, every step of the way, other parents who have been through this will support you. I am so glad you posted. Take care. Do not worry. You will do this. I have taken seriously every single word of your problem. Even though my response is lighthearted. We cannot cry all of the time. COPA [/QUOTE]
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