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Parent Emeritus
not sure what to do anymore, newbie here
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 635238" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>What a healthy and kind thing you are doing for yourself! Good for you!</p><p></p><p>Hon, face it. You did what you had to do because, even if it was because of an illness, you could not risk her being violent to your younger children. You did this heart wrenching move to protect the younger two while making sure your daughter was at least in safe hands. And it is not your fault her father passed away, although it is sad. It is also not your fault your husband turned out to be a drug addict. Many kids go through horrible stuff and turn out ok. Your daughter is probably just wired differently. Read about the stories of other parent's adult children. All of us have had experiences with our adult children that others don't understand.</p><p></p><p>I had to get over the guilt of championing my husband to adopt an eleven year old boy who ended up sexually abusing my youngest two children for three years. They were too afraid to tell us and he was too angelic-acting to adults to get caught by ANYONE, including his psychiatrist who said he was "a good kid, just a little bit cognitively delayed." I still feel guilty about him even now when I think about it, but all of us went through the ringer getting help after that happened and I realize I can't change what happened. I want to add that my two abused children have turned out great, maybe because of all the help, but...you just don't know which people will be resilient and who won't.</p><p></p><p>We sent the adopted child who perpetrated packing. Words can not explain how horrified we were. Just to explain that we love all kids, and do not think he was "bad" because he was adopted, three of our four children are adopted. The two who were abused were adopted. I love all my children so much that I'd easily die for them. It kills me that this happened to my two nicest, most courageous children. And it was all because I wanted to adopt this boy who came as desperate for a home, but in no way a danger to anybody. I wanted it. My husband was happy with our family size and I had to talk him into it. Yes, the guilt is HUGE when I let it bury me. He was NOT cognitively delayed, trust me. He was a genius and a fantastic actor.</p><p></p><p>Anyhow...most of us here have suffered a lot with our children and just want you to know that we understand and that we care.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 635238, member: 1550"] What a healthy and kind thing you are doing for yourself! Good for you! Hon, face it. You did what you had to do because, even if it was because of an illness, you could not risk her being violent to your younger children. You did this heart wrenching move to protect the younger two while making sure your daughter was at least in safe hands. And it is not your fault her father passed away, although it is sad. It is also not your fault your husband turned out to be a drug addict. Many kids go through horrible stuff and turn out ok. Your daughter is probably just wired differently. Read about the stories of other parent's adult children. All of us have had experiences with our adult children that others don't understand. I had to get over the guilt of championing my husband to adopt an eleven year old boy who ended up sexually abusing my youngest two children for three years. They were too afraid to tell us and he was too angelic-acting to adults to get caught by ANYONE, including his psychiatrist who said he was "a good kid, just a little bit cognitively delayed." I still feel guilty about him even now when I think about it, but all of us went through the ringer getting help after that happened and I realize I can't change what happened. I want to add that my two abused children have turned out great, maybe because of all the help, but...you just don't know which people will be resilient and who won't. We sent the adopted child who perpetrated packing. Words can not explain how horrified we were. Just to explain that we love all kids, and do not think he was "bad" because he was adopted, three of our four children are adopted. The two who were abused were adopted. I love all my children so much that I'd easily die for them. It kills me that this happened to my two nicest, most courageous children. And it was all because I wanted to adopt this boy who came as desperate for a home, but in no way a danger to anybody. I wanted it. My husband was happy with our family size and I had to talk him into it. Yes, the guilt is HUGE when I let it bury me. He was NOT cognitively delayed, trust me. He was a genius and a fantastic actor. Anyhow...most of us here have suffered a lot with our children and just want you to know that we understand and that we care. [/QUOTE]
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