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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 724881" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>I'm sorry Nessie for your hardship and pain. It is a difficult thing when our kids grow into adulthood and have problems that lead to a series of bad choices and drug use.</p><p>When my two were at my house, I didn't want to be home. It was a nightmare.</p><p>I didn't know what else to do.</p><p>I couldn't imagine them being out there, somewhere.........</p><p></p><p>The thing that helped me shift focus from awfullizing what may or may not happen to my two, <em>if I didn't house them</em>, was the fact that their being in my home didn't change their behaviors, and they dragged <em>all of us</em> into chaos and drama.</p><p>Something had to change.</p><p>It wasn't fair to any of us, least of all my two younger kids, who were doing quite well, in spite of it all.</p><p>Well, <em>so I thought</em>.</p><p>My son was sick and tired of it.</p><p>After yet another dramatic episode, he broke down sobbing uncontrollably.</p><p>That day, seeing him laying on my bed shaking and crying, I said <em><strong>enough</strong></em>.</p><p></p><p>I realized that we had been so caught up and focused on the frenzy of our two d cs, that our kids who were <em>doing well were just kind of on the sidelines</em>.</p><p>Not fair.</p><p></p><p>I know how scary it is to let go and let come what may for our d cs. Let them face the consequences of their actions.</p><p></p><p>You are right, nothing changes,</p><p>if nothing changes.</p><p>My two weren't going to change, especially when I made them comfortable in my house. I couldn't "fix" them, and they were causing uproar.</p><p></p><p>I had to change.</p><p></p><p>I would say to you very gently Nessie, if you won't do it for yourself, because you are in a fragile place right now, do it for your 16 year old.</p><p></p><p>My son helped me to realize that nobody, <em>least of all my adult d cs</em>, has the right to disrupt the peace and sanctity of our home.</p><p></p><p>Wishing you strength.</p><p>(((HUGS)))</p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 724881, member: 19522"] I'm sorry Nessie for your hardship and pain. It is a difficult thing when our kids grow into adulthood and have problems that lead to a series of bad choices and drug use. When my two were at my house, I didn't want to be home. It was a nightmare. I didn't know what else to do. I couldn't imagine them being out there, somewhere......... The thing that helped me shift focus from awfullizing what may or may not happen to my two, [I]if I didn't house them[/I], was the fact that their being in my home didn't change their behaviors, and they dragged [I]all of us[/I] into chaos and drama. Something had to change. It wasn't fair to any of us, least of all my two younger kids, who were doing quite well, in spite of it all. Well, [I]so I thought[/I]. My son was sick and tired of it. After yet another dramatic episode, he broke down sobbing uncontrollably. That day, seeing him laying on my bed shaking and crying, I said [I][B]enough[/B][/I]. I realized that we had been so caught up and focused on the frenzy of our two d cs, that our kids who were [I]doing well were just kind of on the sidelines[/I]. Not fair. I know how scary it is to let go and let come what may for our d cs. Let them face the consequences of their actions. You are right, nothing changes, if nothing changes. My two weren't going to change, especially when I made them comfortable in my house. I couldn't "fix" them, and they were causing uproar. I had to change. I would say to you very gently Nessie, if you won't do it for yourself, because you are in a fragile place right now, do it for your 16 year old. My son helped me to realize that nobody, [I]least of all my adult d cs[/I], has the right to disrupt the peace and sanctity of our home. Wishing you strength. (((HUGS))) Leafy [/QUOTE]
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