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<blockquote data-quote="JayPee" data-source="post: 752761" data-attributes="member: 23405"><p>My heart goes out to you. I'm so sorry for all your pain and suffering.</p><p></p><p>For myself, I fooled myself for a very long time thinking that I had the situation under control with my adult sons. When I finally realized that I never really did have control is when I was able to begin to step aside. I say begin, because for me I've stepped aside and then stepped right in front of God again. I'm a work in progress.</p><p></p><p>I would really steep myself in prayer if I were you. What happens with prayer is that God not only is working on our children He is working on changing us too. Really, we are in need of change as much as our children. I know that's what I want for myself. I want to change my controlling and enabling, then the fear and the guilt and pain that goes with letting them learn life's lessons. So, so very hard.</p><p></p><p>I was recently reminded that "fear" is not an emotion it is a "spirit". When I look at it that way I want all the more to be "rid" of it! It is no good and controls us, makes us doubt our decisions, takes away our joy. All our focus is on the survival or non-survival of our children. We in essence turn our lives over to them. We begin to devalue ourselves and I speak for myself, at times I would wish I really wasn't alive because I couldn't take worrying about if they were hungry, cold or in danger, any longer. That is definitely not a good thing and not how we should think. </p><p></p><p>I will keep you and your son in my prayers.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JayPee, post: 752761, member: 23405"] My heart goes out to you. I'm so sorry for all your pain and suffering. For myself, I fooled myself for a very long time thinking that I had the situation under control with my adult sons. When I finally realized that I never really did have control is when I was able to begin to step aside. I say begin, because for me I've stepped aside and then stepped right in front of God again. I'm a work in progress. I would really steep myself in prayer if I were you. What happens with prayer is that God not only is working on our children He is working on changing us too. Really, we are in need of change as much as our children. I know that's what I want for myself. I want to change my controlling and enabling, then the fear and the guilt and pain that goes with letting them learn life's lessons. So, so very hard. I was recently reminded that "fear" is not an emotion it is a "spirit". When I look at it that way I want all the more to be "rid" of it! It is no good and controls us, makes us doubt our decisions, takes away our joy. All our focus is on the survival or non-survival of our children. We in essence turn our lives over to them. We begin to devalue ourselves and I speak for myself, at times I would wish I really wasn't alive because I couldn't take worrying about if they were hungry, cold or in danger, any longer. That is definitely not a good thing and not how we should think. I will keep you and your son in my prayers. [/QUOTE]
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