I wasn't coming back on but I wanted to give one last update. I thank u all for ur help but the only thing to do now is for them to live with their dad. All these years of trying to protect them from his "lifestyle" all these years of going to school to better myself for them has been for nothing! I still have no job, Im obese and have no skills. I have been dealing with self esteem issues after something certain happened to me along with verbal and emotional abuse from certain people. Not depressed tho, just want a job! I thought that I was trying to move forward, pushing myself so my kids can have a great life- I never told or showed them my fears or issues. I do yell back when my kids and swore I never would. Whats worse is I do tell them to just go live with their dad since thats what they want because they only argue and complain here. My son messed my daughter and I up for volunteering today ( we were signed and not many people go on this particular site sometimes) plus It looks bad to keep canceling. His tantrums are bad, his demands, his "he will get ready when and if he feels like and pushes us around." Even when its something he wants to do, he plays games. He doesnt understand or want to understand when we say, " if you dont get ready, you are not going to your camp" or we worded it " if you get ready, we will go to your camp" either he demands " yes or no am I going" But he cant or wont accept that I cant promise yes if he doesnt pick up his toys or get ready etc. Bribery doesn't work, rewards and even punishment doesn't work to get him going. He did graduate to the second grade. Before I said nothing was wrong with my daughter, occasional tantrum and extremely shy and quite, good grades. Yes still good grades but still soooooooooooo quite, rarely smiles esp in public. People ask me if shes depressed or going to cry. I try talking with her and she says shes not depressed or social anxiety. Shes eating fine, grades good, no missing school, has friends, still loves her electronics, loves her art and getiing her back into her activities. Shes been this way since Kinder when I was pregnant. I looked up social anxiety and she may or may not have that. I don't know. My neighbors boy was like this still is and hes in his 20's now, works has a kid, but hes not depressed. I hope shes not but Im keeping an eye out for the slightest change and will rush her to the dr. The dr says shes shes shy by the way when I did ask already as they stated. Im so upset , Its now 10:41 am and we were suppose to be there 10 minutes ago This volunteering is hours for my daughters Honor Society which is making this harder! Im in limbo on jobs, no one has given me a chance, and if they dont move with their dad, I will lose custody and go to jail for non payment of child support! He gets them anyway then! Yay me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I never thought this is how things would be... I expected issues of course, never wanted perfect just a decent life. But the more I talk to doctors and stuff the more they tell me its me! Gee, I cant even work or volunteer because my son causes me to be late at times or miss entirely! So, maybe another reason no job. Oh well. Keep em bathed, fed and loved, educated and when they are older they can move or if they want now. I told them I dont want them to ever move but I guess its not up to me? Thanks again for all ur help, Im praying for u all!!!!