Now Christmas Makes Sense

[susiestar]

Christmas was odd this year. First we were going to arrange to go to my folks by calling Christmas Eve. We got a call Christmas Eve that they couldn't commit to a time and would call us in the morning. In the morning my dad called and said they were sick and we would get together after my mom left. Mom left the 26th to drive to visit a relative with a family friend who had to go to that area to report back to her military job. Later that day my dad called and said he was dropping off our gifts and not to come over for a few days or until my mom comes back.

It was all very abrupt, no explanations, and strange. We already were not going to the inlaws because stepmil is having a very very hard year as her daughter died a few mos ago.

Wiz came over today and we got the rest of the story.

Gma was quite ill on Christmas. Bu gfgbro is in a big tizzy because his ex is getting married to some guy she knew for 4 days before they were 'engaged'. Seems bro is just coming over because he is positive the guy is going to hurt niece. He is a severe catastrophizer and of course exsil is very very mentally ill and unstable and unmedicated and most of the guys we have known her to 'date' more than a time or two are men she meets in phosps. My dad is prepared to take drastic action if niece gets hurt, but he is calming down because Wiz asked what it said about gfgbro if all of exsil's men are nuts/dangerous. Sort of stopped my dad in his tracks. Wiz DOES know how to phrase things for maximum impact, lol.

It seems they got gfgbro to call first after really coming down hard on him, but each time he has a 'crisis' he has to be re-taught. they were afraid that he would show up and I would think they were manipulating us. Given that gfgbro seems to be raging HARD over this 'engagement', I am just as happy to not be around, Know what I mean??

Christmas can be celebrated whenever with my parents - it is when we are together, not the date, that matters. It is good to know we didn't do something to upset them. I still have that knee jerk worry when they start getting strange like this. I am not as bad as I used to be with it though.

I cannot even imagine who would agree to marry exil after 4 days of knowing her. Though they probably have some element of wanting to 'rescue' her from her abusive ex. No desire to have more info, so I am NOT speculating. My dad has the sheriff checking this guy's background. it is good to have friends, I guess (he is friends with the sheriff and many deputies).

 

[Hound dog]

Susie, I think that is the first positive thing I've seen your parents do concerning you and bro. (high time) I think you stepping totally out of the picture where bro is concerned has given them an entirely new perspective, one they would never have had otherwise. Going to such lengths to protect you from his crazy making is a really good thing.

I forget how old niece is again? Not sure but I *think* she might be to the age of opting out of visitation with mom if she doesn't feel safe there.

Wiz is a down to earth tell it like it is kid, with a talent for saying it in just such a way that it is hard to ignore. lol Good for him.

 

[susiestar]

You are right. I have seen signs that my mom is more aware of him and not very happy wiith things she would never have admitted existed a couple of years ago.

Wiz is a great kid and he has an amazing way with words. It is nice to see him use them for positive things, lol. He still has an absolute GENIUS for finding and taking advantage of loopholes in rules and logic. I am so glad he doesn't want to be a lawyer. He could get into some real trouble that way. He was amazingly delightful last night. If I hadn't known of the past problems, I would NEVER have thought he was ever a difficult child. Even when a gift seemed a bit odd he said thank you in a very sincere and genuine way. He gave us very thoughtfully chosen gifts and that was just amazing. I could tell that he truly put some thought into finding something that would be enjoyed.

Niece is about ten I think. There is zero chance she will opt out of being around her mother. She is incredibly protective of her mother. The woman has done more crazy things and druggie things, but of course niece won't admit to some of the crazier things we know about. I am not supposed to be around niece because I won't let gfgbro around my kids. I think my dad told him to shove it on this issue though, because several times gfgbro has dropped niece off when we were there. he doesn't come in and apparently he doesn't badmouth me much, gven niece's reaction to seeing me. But I do try to respect his wishes. It is his kid, after all.