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Now he is really gone.
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 678381" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Yesterday we found beer bottles in the house where my son is staying. My son does not drink. When confronted, my son did the usual, he lied, saying he had gathered the bottles to sell, placing them in the garbage can. Then why is one still inside?</p><p></p><p>M let him stay in the house where he has been working (I own it. My son does not know this.) M told him: Nobody can come in the house. Nobody can enter, except you.</p><p></p><p>We were virtually certain he was lying but wanted to catch him red-handed. M went today: Another person's clothes and guitar inside the house.</p><p></p><p>On the phone I told M: I feel we should change the locks right now. He should not be allowed to re-enter. M said: That is how I feel. So M changed the lock.</p><p></p><p>I was weak for a minute and asked M: Can somebody who lies so much and is so disloyal change?</p><p></p><p>M: If he wants. Only if he wants.</p><p></p><p>Me: I feel bad he betrayed you, M.</p><p></p><p>M: He didn't betray me. He betrayed himself.</p><p></p><p>This is the very first time that I do not feel that sad <em>for myself. I feel somewhat sad for him. But not too much. </em></p><p><em></em></p><p>I realize it has very little to do with me. If anything, I am benefited. By clarity.</p><p></p><p>My son has decided he does not want a family. Family does not do this. Family does not respond to kindness and support by burning the hand that offers it. My son is my son but he is not my family.</p><p></p><p>Finally, I see what Serenity means by how she sees her FOO. My son is not my family. He is only my son. Whose life is his own. And he is doing me the favor of giving me more and more clarity about where my loyalties lie. To myself and to M. His life is his own.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p><p><em> </em></p><p><em></em></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 678381, member: 18958"] Yesterday we found beer bottles in the house where my son is staying. My son does not drink. When confronted, my son did the usual, he lied, saying he had gathered the bottles to sell, placing them in the garbage can. Then why is one still inside? M let him stay in the house where he has been working (I own it. My son does not know this.) M told him: Nobody can come in the house. Nobody can enter, except you. We were virtually certain he was lying but wanted to catch him red-handed. M went today: Another person's clothes and guitar inside the house. On the phone I told M: I feel we should change the locks right now. He should not be allowed to re-enter. M said: That is how I feel. So M changed the lock. I was weak for a minute and asked M: Can somebody who lies so much and is so disloyal change? M: If he wants. Only if he wants. Me: I feel bad he betrayed you, M. M: He didn't betray me. He betrayed himself. This is the very first time that I do not feel that sad [I]for myself. I feel somewhat sad for him. But not too much. [/I] I realize it has very little to do with me. If anything, I am benefited. By clarity. My son has decided he does not want a family. Family does not do this. Family does not respond to kindness and support by burning the hand that offers it. My son is my son but he is not my family. Finally, I see what Serenity means by how she sees her FOO. My son is not my family. He is only my son. Whose life is his own. And he is doing me the favor of giving me more and more clarity about where my loyalties lie. To myself and to M. His life is his own. COPA [I] [/I] [/QUOTE]
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