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Now he is really gone.
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 678423" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Copa, I am the same way, black and white is easier for me. The reality is, there are so many shades of gray and different perspectives. Your son is your family, just as my two are. It is so hard when they just don't seem to "get" it. I think my two are more along the lines of teens, then their real age. But, they are still responsible for their choices.It is true what M said, they are not betraying us, it is themselves. In the end, if feels like betrayal, because their choices go against what we taught them. We are their people. </p><p>It is hard when they are here, and easier in some ways when they are not. </p><p>But, it is still <em>all so hard.</em></p><p> </p><p>It becomes such an impossible thing for our family. My Hoku, went to go see my grandson play basketball last Saturday. She was very depressed afterward, lamenting that her sister is so "lost" and that we were not "family". </p><p>She doesn't see change and has lost hope that there will be. </p><p></p><p>I told her there is always hope, that we shouldn't give up. </p><p></p><p> I think M is wonderful, he balances out the situation. I am happy for you that you have M. </p><p>You have grown so much and done a lot of work at changing your responses. I hope that you are able to continue to take good care of yourself, and keep your focus on your needs, and health. </p><p></p><p>It is one day, one step. </p><p>Time, and the choices your son makes will be a big determining factor in all of this. </p><p>I hope and pray that he will make progress, and start to see the need for positive change. </p><p>I hope this for all of our adult children.</p><p></p><p>(((HUGS)))</p><p>leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 678423, member: 19522"] Copa, I am the same way, black and white is easier for me. The reality is, there are so many shades of gray and different perspectives. Your son is your family, just as my two are. It is so hard when they just don't seem to "get" it. I think my two are more along the lines of teens, then their real age. But, they are still responsible for their choices.It is true what M said, they are not betraying us, it is themselves. In the end, if feels like betrayal, because their choices go against what we taught them. We are their people. It is hard when they are here, and easier in some ways when they are not. But, it is still [I]all so hard.[/I] It becomes such an impossible thing for our family. My Hoku, went to go see my grandson play basketball last Saturday. She was very depressed afterward, lamenting that her sister is so "lost" and that we were not "family". She doesn't see change and has lost hope that there will be. I told her there is always hope, that we shouldn't give up. I think M is wonderful, he balances out the situation. I am happy for you that you have M. You have grown so much and done a lot of work at changing your responses. I hope that you are able to continue to take good care of yourself, and keep your focus on your needs, and health. It is one day, one step. Time, and the choices your son makes will be a big determining factor in all of this. I hope and pray that he will make progress, and start to see the need for positive change. I hope this for all of our adult children. (((HUGS))) leafy [/QUOTE]
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