Now she wants a BABY!!!

[DammitJanet]

Is there anyway you could sneak the bc pill in with her other medications? Or just drug her and have the shot done while she was out?

Wait...I know! I know how to get you out from under her threats. There may not be true emancipation laws in NY state...but...you do become not liable for her if she gets married...or joins the military. Well we know she isnt going to join the military so tell her if she wants a baby she needs to marry her Boo! Then your problems are solved. Hers arent...but yours are. She becomes his problem. Heck...it might work!

 

[susiestar]

I really think I would move to a crappy apt in a state where she is adult at 18. Then once she is 18, kick her out and MOVE back home!!!!

Seriously, I would do it.

Or the $5,000 if there is a 5 year shot. I think the 5 year think is mirena and it is a new kind of IUD. It isn't the kind that just scrambles things up inside you, it is a plastic implant that releases bc hormones for 5 years. IT CAN BE REMOVED AND CAN FALL OUT. It is only for women who have already had a child. Or so the ad said.

I also think a shotgun marriage would be an option if she gets preg. Just make her get married. Force it, or get the PINS petition. I would start on the PINS petition (person in need of supervision). Ask the case mgr about it. Is there a state near enough you can get there in an hour or so?

 

[witzend]

Oooh, you guys are good. Move to another state until she turns 18! Of course, Bran would have to give up the SW who keeps showing up for difficult child even though difficult child isn't there. Any help is better than no help in a new place where you don't know anyone. But still... I only live 10 minutes down the freeway from the next state. It would be closer to husband's work and there's no income tax. I would jump on that in a heartbeat if my family were younger and I were less tied down to my house.

 

[Pookybear66]

Bran-I'm sorry things are still going crummy for you. I would guess that most anything you say will be met with resistence. It's gonna have to be her decision unfortunately. I am no psychologist, but I would back off for a while talking about it. I SERIOUSLY would watch her though lest she think you caved. But after a few weeks or so, I would calmly bring it up again and really discuss it. What makes her think its good/bad?? Maybe she could write a pro/con paper for you and you could with-o her knowing bring it to SW or something to show them her thinking. Hang in there!

 

[bran155]

You guys are great!!!!!! I love all of the ideas, with a bit of humor. I have to laugh at this from time to time to keep sane. So thanks for the chuckle.

She is over her period and yesterday I got another pregnancy test for her to take and she refused to take it. It is a power struggle for her. She knows damn well she is not pregnant right now but wont give me the satisfaction of knowing for sure. She is really good at being at teenager - uurgh!!! My sw told me just what you said pooky - to back off the subject - stop giving her the power to worry me because that is exactly what she wants.

To make matters worse, we had a psychiatric appointment, yesterday she refused to go to. I made another appointment. for her, it's not until Oct. 21, it's all they had. In the meantime she is going to run out of her medications. I can't get a script because she has never seen this doctor before so he wont prescribe her medications without a visit. So my life is about to get a whole lot worse!!! I soon will have the crisis team and the police here to escort her right back to the hospital as she will no doubt turn into a complete maniac. Oh what fun!!!

Thanks again, I will keep you posted.

 

[Pookybear66]

LOL Bran-maybe I SHOULD be a sw instead of sitting here on my rear end worrying about my own ds and getting all depressed and stuff. If I help others sort things out it helps. Anyway, about the medications-can you get the old dr or hospital or someone to prescribe just enough to tie you over till you get to your appointment in Oct. I can't see you having to go through such craziness. Just the thinking about the impending situation is probably going to make you go nuts. See what you can do and hang in there.

 

[bran155]

Pooky - her previous doctor won't give me the scripts because thats how we got them last time. He said he couldn't do that again. She is just going to end up in the hospital, which stinks for me because it will be a big production and it is just exhausting!!!

My sw, who I just love, said my difficult child is just going to have to suffer "natural consequences" , if she doesn't take her medications she will no doubt end up in the hospital. Yeah great, expect I am the one who will end up enforcing that natural consequence. It aint easy. The sad truth is I just want out of this craziness!!!!! I, along with all of you I'm sure, am so utterly sick of dealing with this. I just dont have the desire to help this kid any longer, everything I have done for her over the years has proven to be a waste of time. I dont have anything left to give. THIS JOB NEVER ENDS!!!!!

 

[hexemaus2]

Hmm...back in the psychiatric hospital? Well, she shouldn't be able to get pregnant there. (Yeah, I know, not the best solution...but it is something of a silver lining.)

The 5 year bc is Mirena. That's what difficult child 1 is looking into after she has the baby. She definitely doesn't want to have another one until after she finishes college. With Mirena, it is pretty much an IUD. You have it put in, then checked each year at your usual annual exam. It can be placed or removed at a routine office visit. So, if you did get her to agree, she could easily go to Planned Parenthood or some "free" clinic and have it removed without you knowing.

I think the only semi-perm bc (where she would not have the easy option of having it removed, refusing shots, etc.) are the implants. I don't even know if those are still available. (It's been a long time since I had to worry about bc...the implants were still "new" on the market when I had my tubes tied after difficult child 3.)

Would a call to your OB/GYN work? With the medications she's on, there would be issues with a pregnancy. Maybe he/she could explain to her what could happen to the baby as a result of the medications she's on/would still have in her system? (He/she would have to be careful, lest your difficult child decide to go off her medications for just that reason, but depending on how long her medications stay in her system, there might still be lingering risks/complications & he/she could explain the risks involved.)

I wish I could offer more help. Going through this with my own difficult child, I can understand your fears. My difficult child 1 wasn't deliberately trying to get pregnant - she was just plain old stupid & didn't use protection of any kind. But how you get here doesn't matter as much as just simply dealing with being here, if that makes sense. Luckily, the whole thing has scared the beejeebers out of difficult child 1. She's now darn-near panicing that she's going to screw up as a Mom...but I think it's a healthy kind of fear. She didn't mean to get herself here, but now that she's here, she wants to make sure she does the best she can.

I wish you the best of luck & will cross my fingers for you and your difficult child. I can only imagine how scared and concerned you are right now.

 

[bran155]

Thanks so much hex. I appreciate the support. You're right, she cant get pregnant in the hospital!!!! So, maybe it was a blessing she refused to go to the doctor.

 

[Pookybear66]

That's the spirit! Look for the silver lining. I too am so "sick and tired" of dealing with the problems of my difficult child/ds that I almost don't have enough desire to do "fun" things with easy child/daughter. I feel bad for her and am doing my best. I suppose I too should look for the silver lining in my situation (see my update on my post of "Teachers are idiots"). Basically we will have to revisit the IEP. It's just that I don't know what else to "help" with. He already has an IEP; he's already getting support; he STILL hates writing and reading! I'm not a real religious person but I'd be willing to "pay off" the man above if this could get fixed as I'm sure most of us on this board would!

 

[DammitJanet]

In all seriousness though...if it all does come to pass...it might not be the absolute worse thing in the world. There are worse things in the world than pregnant difficult child's. It has been known to turn a few of us around.

 

[janebrain]

You know, I think she is loving this--that she can get you all worried and upset with the thought of her getting pregnant. I would definitely back off and not give her that kind of power over you. It may not seem so attractive to her if she can't get a rise out of you. Hopefully it is another difficult child idea that will pass.

My own difficult child said she did not want to get pregnant yet had 3 pregnancies in one year--all ending in miscarriage. She finally did get pregnant and as far as I know is still carrying it--due in November. I hate to think of all the head games she will probably play with this baby as it grows up...

Hugs,
Jane

 

[bran155]

Janet, I thought of that too. I know of a few kids who when had a baby changed their lives for the better. I am afraid of so many things in my case though. I really believe she would mistreat the baby, the baby would probably come out with issues herself and I know my husband would leave me!!! He has endured so much already this would just be the straw that broke the camels back. Not only do I love him and do not want to lose him, but I would end up in a shelter right along with my daughter. My son would be devastated to not be with both of his parents, he also has endured a great deal due to his sister and that just wouldn't be fair to him. My husband has already told me he doesn't think he would be able to handle it if my difficult child had a baby and lived with us. He has done so much for my daughter and does not want to now support her baby. I am iffy on that however, I wonder if she was his biological child would he leave me then??? That makes me a little uncomfortable. I mean I understand where he is coming from, but what about: "for better or worse". I dont know.

Jane - you are so right, she is getting a big rise out of all of this. I am going to back off this subject and just keep an eye out for changes in her body. She just got over her period the other day, so she most likely is not pregnant now.

Thanks guys.

Aaaaah......the joy of motherhood!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[susiestar]

well, since she will be in the hospital, show them she is out of control and manic, and wanting a baby, maybe THEY will give her a depo shot

 

[amazeofgrace]

I ditto the shot idea you only have to convince her once!

 

[bran155]

How long does the shot last? I thought it only lasted 3-4 months, that's why I offered her $100 per shot. If it last longer I'll offer her more money.

 

[butterflydreams]

no advice, just wanted to send you hugs.